tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67269040204120041182024-03-05T10:47:26.960-08:00The Empty WaterdishMindless Musings of a Muttering MisnomerK. M. Vanderbilthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05131697804902521538noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6726904020412004118.post-56430262167316754392016-09-19T09:34:00.000-07:002016-09-19T15:10:32.075-07:00Punctuation: A Quick and Dirty GuideThere are "editors" out there who will sell a service without even knowing the basics of punctuation, and it's come to my attention they are saturating the indie market with subpar work. This is one of those "you get what you pay for" moments, but just read this and self-check you are getting what you pay for, people.<br />
<br />
Basic sentence:<br />
<br />
I run.<br />
<br />
This is present tense. A complete sentence with subject and verb. You end it with a god damn period.<br />
<br />
I run?<br />
<br />
See above. Only it's a question. So you use a god damn question mark.<br />
<br />
I run!<br />
<br />
See first example. Except this one shows an emphatic declaration, so you use a god damn exclamation point.<br />
<br />
Hyphens:<br />
<br />
I run twenty-one miles a day.<br />
<br />
Use hyphens to denote two words that are conjoined. In the case of numbers, you show they are related by separating them as shown above.<br />
<br />
I run like a rocket-fueled jet.<br />
<br />
In the case of an adjective-verb conjunction, use the hyphen to show the two words are related.<br />
<br />
Dashes:<br />
<br />
I run--really fast.<br />
<br />
Dashes are used for dramatic effect. Think *big breath/dramatic pause* in the place of a dash.<br />
<br />
I run--really fast, mind you--and nobody can keep up.<br />
<br />
Dashes are also used to introduce an aside. These interrupt the sentence to show something used for dramatic effect which is directly related to the sentence.<br />
<br />
Semicolons:<br />
<br />
I run extremely fast; it's a gift.<br />
<br />
Semicolons are used to conjoin two complete, related sentences.<br />
<br />
I run three miles on Wednesday; four miles on Thursday; two miles on Saturday morning, or two miles on Saturday evening; and six miles on Sunday.<br />
<br />
Semicolons are also used in the case of complex lists when comma usage may detract from clarity of the sentence.<br />
<br />
Colons:<br />
<br />
I run two days a week: Monday and Saturday.<br />
<br />
Colons are used to introduce a related bit of information. Like a dash? See below.<br />
<br />
I run quickly for many reasons: endurance training, athletic build, and to outpace killer clowns from outer space.<br />
<br />
Although used like a dash, the pause is not as dramatic in the case of semicolons. This is the humdrum, pat-your-mouth-with-fake-yawn of punctuation.<br />
<br />
Commas:<br />
<br />
Okay, seriously, look this shit up when in doubt. There is entirely too much to cover on comma usage, and you will probably get it wrong anyway without formal education.<br />
<br />
Ellipses:<br />
<br />
I run...sometimes.<br />
<br />
This is a big one and is stylistically interchangeable in many ways. First of all, ellipses are three dots. End of discussion. Three dots to indicate a thought or speech pausing as shown above. Some styles indicate the use of a space on either side of an ellipses, but this is more stiffly adhered to in an academic setting.<br />
<br />
I run when I'm upset, or...<br />
<br />
Ellipses can also indicate a thought trailing off. In some cases, styles dictate you need end punctuation in this case. AGAIN, this is more strictly adhered to in an academic setting. For creative writing, the end punctuation is not necessary for examples like this.<br />
<br />
Do you run for the thrill, or...?<br />
<br />
In this case, the question is left hanging. It's a question, so it needs the question mark. Again, some styles indicate you need a space on either side of the ellipses, but that is not a strict rule for creative endeavors.<br />
<br />
Quotation marks:<br />
<br />
"I like to run."<br />
<br />
This is a simple sentence of speech. Open quotes before dialogue. End punctuation. Close quotes.<br />
<br />
"I like to run," she said.<br />
<br />
In cases of dialogue tags, ALWAYS PUT YOUR FUCKING COMMA INSIDE THE QUOTES. This applies to question marks, exclamation marks, and friggin' ellipses, too. Your dialogue tag will always be lower case unless the first word begins with a proper noun in cases like this ("I like to run!" He-Man screamed while raising his sword aloft.).<br />
<br />
"I like to run," she said, pausing with a dramatic sigh, "but my boyfriend doesn't."<br />
<br />
When a tag interrupts dialogue, you will format it like so.<br />
<br />
"I like to run"--she shrugged and pulled a face--"but my boyfriend doesn't."<br />
<br />
What you see here is an interruption of dialogue. This physical aside is not a tag, so commas will not introduce it. DASHES, PEOPLE.<br />
<br />
Anyway, as you can see, this really is quick and dirty. Check what you get back on a sample line edit and make sure the person you've hired is worth their salt. You are paying for an intensive service, and it will cost you, but don't let yourself be taken advantage of merely out of ignorance. Do the thing. Do it well. Write on, Wordsmiths.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />K. M. Vanderbilthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05131697804902521538noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6726904020412004118.post-88366238124670724032016-05-19T13:16:00.001-07:002016-05-19T13:16:06.557-07:00On Writing: Excuses Are Like AssholesOkay, I really feel this needs to be said. You want to know what divides a writer from an author? Hard. Fucking. Work. Excuses are like assholes: we all have them and they all stink.<br />
<br />
There is no such thing as a muse in the traditional Greek sense, nor is this a valid excuse to waste your time. Do you know what I think when someone says their muse is on vacation? I think...when did Kelly go on vacation? I just saw a post in her <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/AuthorKellyBlanchard/" target="_blank">group</a> not an hour ago!<br />
<br />
Do you know what I think when you keep saying you don't know where to start? I think you're never going to finish that book if you don't at least try. It is just another excuse.<br />
<br />
When you tell me you don't have the time, I think back to my ridiculous work schedule in both college and when I was a bartender. College was my most prolific writing time. It wasn't because I had the time; it was because writing for myself was more appealing than the course work.<br />
<br />
When I worked at the bar, I was pulling 15 hour shifts Wednesday through Sunday. Did I mention I was also working on my Masters degree? I was dead on my feet more often than not, and yet I STILL managed to bang out a few short stories and chapters on existing projects. It wasn't because it was easier; it was because I WANTED it.<br />
<br />
When I had my kid, I managed to write and publish a book despite the fact that she never slept...and therefore, I never slept. It wasn't because it was easy. It was because I FUCKING WANTED IT.<br />
<br />
So here's the skinny, guys. How fucking bad do you want it?<br />
<br />
You wanna know what I think when you give me these excuses? I think you're overwhelmed, unsure, and you're setting yourself up for failure by not even trying. And you know what? It's completely fucking normal; every one of us, in some way or another, has sabotaged ourself at some point. You don't want that for yourself, though, do you? Of course you dont.<br />
<br />
So what's the trick? I mean...there isn't one. It's HARD FUCKING WORK. Every day, you MAKE yourself write one sentence, even if it sucks and you know it's going to get mucked out later. It doesn't matter. You MAKE yourself write. You put your ass in the seat, pinch off an amazing stink loaf, then sort through it later for those lingering little gems of amazeballs.<br />
<br />
You do it every day. And you keep doing it. And you KEEP fucking doing it!<br />
<br />
Before you know it, you have a draft ready to be edited. That's where the magic happens. All that shit you spewed on the page gets polished to a high sheen. Your book baby is born. FINALLY! GLORIOUS DAY!<br />
<br />
...but this won't happen because you're still flashing your dirty asshole at me.<br />
<br />
I don't want your excuses. I want you to look up and realize this is WORK and you CAN do it. I have all the faith in the world that you can.<br />
<br />
Now go pinch a loaf on the page, you dirty wordsmith.<br />
<br />K. M. Vanderbilthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05131697804902521538noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6726904020412004118.post-15660745226064128242016-05-07T16:01:00.000-07:002016-05-07T16:01:31.355-07:00Marketing: I Call ShenanigansSo I promised I'd share more on what works with marketing as I gained more experience. This blog deals more with what DOESN'T work.<br />
<br />
So, here's the thing. I'm on that fuck douchery called Twitter, right? It's kind of a hit and miss highway of information that doesn't do much for me in the scheme of things. I can't say I've made a single sale there.<br />
<br />
This has been my experience thus far:<br />
<br />
Find authors.<br />
Attempt to connect with authors.<br />
Get blindsided in a dark room.<br />
Have books bashed over my head while I scream for help.<br />
<br />
This is a screenshot of my inbox:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisUH8zhmcewa2E4M3kzaZeDIQ3m9VvU3yNdRBFfhybhA_ARsHmWHmOxbc0bPgMkPjRUxfm3E0kikl7k3Z0Yv6gPrlT8CKj7a2MQOkbhOa469mMWnK0b7VKpxEUoIdnzR5JulhLeia_t-rh/s1600/received_629193275408-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisUH8zhmcewa2E4M3kzaZeDIQ3m9VvU3yNdRBFfhybhA_ARsHmWHmOxbc0bPgMkPjRUxfm3E0kikl7k3Z0Yv6gPrlT8CKj7a2MQOkbhOa469mMWnK0b7VKpxEUoIdnzR5JulhLeia_t-rh/s320/received_629193275408-1.jpg" width="210" /></a></div>
<br />
Now, as you can see, the fuck douchery is thick here. Almost every single one of these is an auto generated response or some random bullshit sent via crowdfire. Like...you can't even take the time to say hi yourself? What is the fucking point?<br />
<br />
I'm just gonna be blunt here. If you don't even take enough pride in your work to sell me on it, why in the hell would I bother to even look at it? These messages put me off of even speaking with people, let alone wanting to see what's going to crop up in their feed. I have more people on mute than anything after this. And the one person I ASSUMED had sent a legit message? Nupe. I took the time to respond and got nothing in return. Great connecting with you, assflap.<br />
<br />
If I wanted to read your book based on the fact that you wrote it, I would have already added it to my list. There are a handful of authors that warrant such a privilege on their name alone. Chances are, you aren't one of them.<br />
<br />
You want to sell me your book? Sell YOURSELF to me first. I don't imagine I'm alone in this. I will never crowdfire or tell you to check out my blog, much less drop links to shit you don't give a fuck about. If you ask, I will respond. I assume the same could be said for most people.<br />
<br />
One of the people I do follow and interact with on Twitter has said, more or less, "If you aren't dead and famous posthumously, chances are I don't want to read your book." I agree when it comes to the ceaseless, meaningless, dark room blindsiding of my inbox. Just stop it!<br />
<br />
If you can't market yourself, your book, blog, or youtube channel mean less than bellybutton lint. Fact, yo.<br />
<br />
Anyway, be interesting. Engage people. Give a fuck what they say; they tend to return the favor. Otherwise, you're just one more voice in that dark room, one more asshat bonking me on the head with your dried out marketing technique. Frankly, I think I speak for everyone when I say, "Zip it up and act right. You are more than your book, you ill-mannered ape."K. M. Vanderbilthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05131697804902521538noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6726904020412004118.post-16084607431160633472016-05-02T10:06:00.000-07:002016-05-02T10:06:57.561-07:00Ebooks and Authors: A Swashbuckling AdventureThe title of this blog is probably horrifyingly inappropriate and misleading when you get right down to it, but it stands. When I'm met with something this awful, I have to find laughter because the alternative is to rip my hair out and offer up impotent rage. It's no longer cool to drink from the skulls of your enemies, so this is what I use to cope--a piddly little blog.<br />
<br />
So what had the potential to get me so worked up in the first place? Simply put, entitlement and complete disrespect.<br />
<br />
Yesterday, in one of the many writing groups I haunt, a member shared a status from another author. This woman--heretofore known as The Aggrieved--shared a screenshot from a "fan." It went viral in the writing community.<br />
<br />
The long and short of it--and I'm grossly paraphrasing here--went a little something like this:<br />
<br />
Hey, Ms. Author Lady, I loved your books. I read every single one of them in ebook format..but then I took advantage of Amazon's return policies for ebooks by returning them. I just can't afford $0.99 or $2.99 for a book. Would you mind making your books free so I can enjoy them in the future instead of having to return those ebooks?<br />
<br />
*dramatic pause* *big breath* *shaking of head*<br />
<br />
Where do I even begin here? Does this "fan" have a mental issue that prevents common sense from flowing out of her brain and into her fingers? I'm just...agog.<br />
<br />
This is how I break it down: if someone provides a service, you pay them for it. There is no discussion. You do not walk into a movie theatre and tell the ticket desk, "No, no...you don't understand. I can't afford the movie, but I LOVE this director. It should be free for me." You don't walk into Starbucks and tell the barrista, "Listen, I don't have any money, but that $5 cup of coffee is my favorite. It should be free for me."<br />
<br />
These people perform a job, you pay them for it. It isn't a difficult concept to grasp.<br />
<br />
The reason I suggest this "fan" must have a common sense dam is because when The Aggrieved blocked them, reported their ebook scam to Amazon, and shared the message...this "fan" did not let it go. They created ANOTHER account to harass the author.<br />
<br />
Again, gross paraphrasing, but the two messages went something like this:<br />
<br />
How dare you block me and make me have to start another account? And how dare you share my private messages? My feelings are hurt, and you aren't doing this author thing right. Lots of authors make me a beta. You could have been a best seller if you just sat down and acted like you're supposed to. I shouldn't have to pay for the stories in your head. Now I'm having trouble returning an ebook and it's all you're fault!<br />
<br />
*wide eyed amazement* *complete rage* *cue murderface on The Aggrieved's behalf*<br />
<br />
Brian: We can't murderface, K.<br />
Me: Yes we can, Brian. Did you see what they said?!<br />
Brian: Yes. We still can't murderface. You'll go to jail, and I'll explode from quarantined creativity.<br />
Me: You're right. *big breath* Let's blog!<br />
<br />
Okay, point one here: entitlement. Say it with me, kids: YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO A DAMN THING.<br />
<br />
You can't afford a book? Carry your ass to the library. Your library doesn't carry it? ASK the author if you can beta or get an ARC. They say no? Ask your friends and family to buy a copy for you. Any questions? No? Didn't think so.<br />
<br />
Point two: reality. Say it with me kids: I WILL PAY FOR SERVICES RENDERED, AS ANYTHING LESS IS THEFT.<br />
<br />
This person asserts they shouldn't have to pay for the stories in The Aggrieved's head. Why not? They provide hours of entertainment. The Aggrieved shelled out money to publish, and has every right to charge for the service they provide.<br />
<br />
WARNING: I will now wax philosophical. Feel free to skip this part.<br />
<br />
How does an artist go about putting a price tag on a piece of themselves? That book came from the author's brain, found its way to the page, went through countless edits, and became a thing of beauty. It provides a service in opening up to the outside world what was, before, a rich inner world. It is ridiculous to think something like that holds no value, and to say so is complete disrespect.<br />
<br />
/End philosophical rant./<br />
<br />
Back on the monetary issue, let's talk facts. The Aggrieved charged $0.99 and $2.99 for her works. Since the bottom dropped out of the ebook market, this author makes CENTS off of the sale of a $0.99 book. While charging $2.99 does offer a slighter monetary gain, the big deal here is distribution and valuing your work. In the end, this is not much to ask for what took months to years to create.<br />
<br />
Furthermore, for every ebook sold, a delivery fee is charged for that file being put onto the buyer's device. Cents, albeit, but a delivery fee nonetheless. Amazon doesn't refund that delivery fee, so now the author has essentially paid this "fan" to read a book.<br />
<br />
Let me be clear: this is THEFT. Plain and simple, this "fan" has now taken money out of this author's already small stream of revenue by returning a book that is already undervalued.<br />
<br />
So here's the bottom line, don't be a disrespectful, thieving piece of shit. Authors are providing you a service, one you should pay for. If you cannot, there are other ways to address that without going Misery on your favorite author.<br />
<br />
Don't cut the legs out from under an author. Lift them up and support them; many of us can't live off of the pittance we make from publishing. We do this because we love hearing from our readers--and not that they've been stealing from us for years. Use your damn head, for fuck's sake.K. M. Vanderbilthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05131697804902521538noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6726904020412004118.post-6894983230265626642016-04-17T18:42:00.000-07:002016-04-17T19:59:33.626-07:00Diverting Streams: How to Combat a TrollHello again, lovelies. Today's blog touches on a throwback, with elements of both the Mayo Jar incident and the Criticism blog.<br />
<br />
Today on Twitter, I came across my first real-deal, salty as fuck troll. Behold the post that started it all:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_orgSFpiFHpydJqo9bMRkz_bP_1CqAbwCJ0K7DRg-_Tms0ILPHLL07y4QUbCZzeoGe-riJtT9B7zjC1t1IaFvYTU-6V3XgFSdfhcVEwIOt3SIJUKLVS1v_bCOCg7V4UdyHPQ9KeAiyXmj/s1600/Screenshot_2016-04-17-18-16-15-1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_orgSFpiFHpydJqo9bMRkz_bP_1CqAbwCJ0K7DRg-_Tms0ILPHLL07y4QUbCZzeoGe-riJtT9B7zjC1t1IaFvYTU-6V3XgFSdfhcVEwIOt3SIJUKLVS1v_bCOCg7V4UdyHPQ9KeAiyXmj/s320/Screenshot_2016-04-17-18-16-15-1.png" width="253" /></a></div>
<br />
For those who have been following my blog, Twitter, or the author page I maintain on Facebook...you know this is just me. I am not pretentious. Mayo Jar aside, I'm generally well versed in how to comport myself around others.<br />
<br />
My use of the word "fuck" is not an indication of my intelligence or class, merely an aspect of my personality. And on MY pages, I will say whatever the fucking god damn shit I want.<br />
<br />
But I digress.<br />
<br />
The Tweet in question garnered a bit of attention, nothing extravagant--a few likes, RTs, and comments. It was meant as a joke and generally taken as one.<br />
<br />
Then there was this:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKDaPWGm8Gu0A9L79D7-P69FU4E4PTD2WdV2bSzntaZOXy6q2Kz0tHBdWL94qZ5wcGnxrbEkt4AMkQLNWo_79bsCEzgbx6Iz_Jtk0zg8V4nDIDZjl35RhBlJeOdlt6q1g49ocaQAmpyRxn/s1600/received_627157180758-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKDaPWGm8Gu0A9L79D7-P69FU4E4PTD2WdV2bSzntaZOXy6q2Kz0tHBdWL94qZ5wcGnxrbEkt4AMkQLNWo_79bsCEzgbx6Iz_Jtk0zg8V4nDIDZjl35RhBlJeOdlt6q1g49ocaQAmpyRxn/s320/received_627157180758-1.jpg" width="223" /></a></div>
<br />
Now, at first, I truly thought this was a joke. What follows is my cluelessness at play and a ridiculous spew of nonsequitur vitriol. Innocent parties have been blued out.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9mbZ-EeUJcL4hqGlFHUnQlVSpz2ZCKOvaCgDdfTv3pfbsavFzgHt6dkCf3snNkeRr-2jfR_DGQNG8_ezIaNmelPdiCKvYqnMTTXqhf99lrLOnIQ1xqgv97F-43oZujSFXJiIxqEqg9en2/s1600/received_627158193728-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9mbZ-EeUJcL4hqGlFHUnQlVSpz2ZCKOvaCgDdfTv3pfbsavFzgHt6dkCf3snNkeRr-2jfR_DGQNG8_ezIaNmelPdiCKvYqnMTTXqhf99lrLOnIQ1xqgv97F-43oZujSFXJiIxqEqg9en2/s320/received_627158193728-1.jpg" width="203" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhiiK5_zPPb1oWo7SgB2ipu_qVZzx_3zkoXJlFMu_8q9b0VwUYcGrg8jxXfLUzWLCKBM3ehEWLAmUNFy8sA9XGyF_1_FAdBd4YnLOJ_CE8QOKqU4_TEcRdtW-8WmDzeAW33ASANtT6dCWg/s1600/received_627158098918-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhiiK5_zPPb1oWo7SgB2ipu_qVZzx_3zkoXJlFMu_8q9b0VwUYcGrg8jxXfLUzWLCKBM3ehEWLAmUNFy8sA9XGyF_1_FAdBd4YnLOJ_CE8QOKqU4_TEcRdtW-8WmDzeAW33ASANtT6dCWg/s320/received_627158098918-1.jpg" width="221" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp8OHp3NkJmF0W2E72DMOt_Xldne0ZVVxsRzUd_gKBAJgFHYY6XGR_mxJIM5QEwBf1G4IlO3Kn6aBnuG8vkaVvEDPm0iBnydzpahXmgmFQe49d_QG8uWibSxUXr5BKbS5H3D0yijc58QVl/s1600/received_627158178758-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp8OHp3NkJmF0W2E72DMOt_Xldne0ZVVxsRzUd_gKBAJgFHYY6XGR_mxJIM5QEwBf1G4IlO3Kn6aBnuG8vkaVvEDPm0iBnydzpahXmgmFQe49d_QG8uWibSxUXr5BKbS5H3D0yijc58QVl/s320/received_627158178758-1.jpg" width="214" /></a></div>
<br />
As you can see, I attempted to remain polite here. I didn't bother to argue with this person for a few reasons:<br />
<br />
1. Trolls be trollin'.<br />
2. 140 character limit.<br />
3. I do not need this person's validation.<br />
<br />
Now you notice here when I acknowledged where the vitriol came from, his tone changed. I am going to go out on a limb here and say he was only offended by the language and my refusal to acknowledge (See: ignorance of) it spurred the unrelated and hateful comments.<br />
<br />
Right. So I mentioned the Mayo Jar earlier. I stepped out of line and thoroughly embarrassed myself on someone else's Twitter with that shenanigan. Inappropriate humor is inappropriate, mm'kay?<br />
<br />
That comes into play here because this person attempted to police not only me but another Twitter user who found my words amusing. It's downright condescending, but he basically pulled a Mayo Jar without the humor and presumed to tell us we are low brow for laughing at a pretty benign bit of word play.<br />
<br />
Trolls will troll, but I stepped right into this because I thought it was an asinine dare. Given context, it doesn't make much sense at all, really. I guess he was trying to say a traditional publication company wouldn't touch us because our Internet presence is tainted? Regardless, online conversations are tone deaf in many ways.<br />
<br />
Normally I would say don't bother to engage, but I removed that option. And while this did end on a...better note than where it started, it could have been avoided altogether had I not assumed this person was joking.<br />
<br />
Keep this in mind, guys: if you engage, divert the water and flood the bridge. Killing them with kindness works better than firing back. But if you can, just find a different bridge absent the dirty shit flinger beneath it.<br />
<br />K. M. Vanderbilthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05131697804902521538noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6726904020412004118.post-30242540565328371492016-03-25T17:17:00.001-07:002016-03-25T20:44:38.515-07:00Evolution of a Plot: Planning Your NovelSo I'm sure a lot of you have come across the pantsing and planning debates. Or maybe you haven't. It doesn't matter. Whether you pants, plan, or fall somewhere in between, I have one nugget of wisdom: IT'S OKAY TO LET YOUR PLOT EVOLVE.<br />
<br />
If you plan every detail down to a sneeze, this may not really touch you that much, but I'm willing to bet it does in the editing room. Things change. It's a fact of life. When writing a novel, you can bet your frilly little undies things will change. Maybe that character relationship you wrote fell a little flat and needs some extra TLC. Or maybe there's a plot hole you missed. Whatever the case, it is FINE if your plot needs to evolve to fill in the gaps.<br />
<br />
So on pantsing or planning, I find myself somewhere in the middle. I throw out a vague outline of plans to cover my plot from point A to Z, but I let character interactions kind of move the plot at a more natural pace. It's worked well for me, but it also means my plot has to evolve as I write. And that's not necessarily a bad thing.<br />
<br />
The plantser element served me well in my first book, and it still stands for the next in the series. Chaos Rising is still in first draft mode, as in...unfinished. I recently had to restructure some of the plot, which meant adding some new bits and pieces into a formerly vague outline.<br />
<br />
As an example of how my plantser method looks, I'm going to now share with you the ORIGINAL planning points for part one of the story. Try not to laugh too hard.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<b>PART ONE:</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<b>Prologue</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;">
</div>
<ul>
<li>Llilinth got what she
wanted and had Selgetorn, but she foisted him off on Kea. So Selv is forever
trying to win his mother's love and she could give a shit less. </li>
</ul>
<b>Chapters</b><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;">
</div>
<ul>
<li>Invidia escapes
Sotanocte with tome, but breaks her leg upon exiting the tunnels. Meets Gelfein
and is taken aboard ship bound for Drow community, Shtepi ni’Det.</li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;">
</div>
<ul>
<li>Assault on Invidia
by Neeral leads to mutiny. Crew rallies under Akorafae’s flag.</li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;">
</div>
<ul>
<li>Akorafae takes them
on a dangerous assault of…somewhere on the coast? They sack a town, plunder and
such, are almost trapped, use their own boat as a fire-ship to escape, and take
on a captured vessel as the new flag ship.</li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;">
</div>
<ul>
<li>When they finally
make it back to Shtepi n’Det, Invidia is introduced to “Stone,” the ossified
elder. Through touch-transfer, Invidia
sees what really happened to the Forefather (Forebelo), why his name was wiped
from the records, and why the book she possesses is so very important.</li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;">
</div>
<ul>
<li>As she settles into
her life in the community and continues to heal, Gelfein becomes her constant
companion. He is relieved of his duties as quartermaster and made Invidia’s
personal servant. Gelfein’s grandmother hopes to make a match between them
(priestesses on surface can have families and are not separated from the
community like they are in the Sotanocte). Neither Invidia nor Gelfein has any
interest in romantic bullshit, but the arrangement suits them otherwise. He
teaches her to understand languages by ear instead of relying so heavily on
sign.</li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;">
</div>
<ul>
<li>Neeral is shunned
within Shtepi ni’Det because of his foul behavior, and he’s stripped of all
rights. He finally steals the tome and a small
schooner, running along the coast until he disembarks in Midterkyst (the
capitol of learning). He tries to find a buyer for the book, but nobody can
read the Drow dialect.</li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;">
</div>
<ul>
<li>A member of the
Tiernon steals the book from him and returns it to the tower to be translated.
Saxa, a young scribe and linguist, takes months to fully understand the
depths of the Drow language and transcribe the book, but she keeps coming back
to the passage “On Breadth Keys,” completely fascinated by the prospect of a
key that can transport the user ANYWHERE.</li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;">
</div>
<ul>
<li>Lleu is in Himin,
getting pissed about all the unfair treatment at Freyr’s hands. A human
monk—Filip—is allowed unfettered access to Himin while the angelli can’t even
go near the well without reprimand. His anger gets to the breaking point and he
stages a coup.</li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;">
</div>
<ul>
<li>There’s also shit
going on in Sotanocte, not sure WHICH aspects to highlight, tbh. The Dell
are the least clear to me in their affiliations and motivations. Llilinth is
crazy bitch lady; Kea is sneaky sneak lady; and Selgetorn knows nothing, Jon
Snow.</li>
</ul>
<b>EPILOGUE</b><br />
<ul>
<li>?? Um…stuff…</li>
</ul>
<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
At it's conception, I knew the basic storylines and which characters I would concentrate on, so my planning was mostly character-based with a few high points in the plot thrown in, but it was in no way COMPLETE. I mean...LOOK AT IT.<br />
<br />
Now, as the plot evolved around these characters, so did the planning. If we were to actually address which bits of this show up in the book, it might look a little more like THIS:<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<b>PART ONE:</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<b>Prologue</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;">
</div>
<ul>
<li>Llilinth got what she wanted and had Selgetorn, but she foisted him off on Kea. So Selv is forever trying to win his mother's love and she could give a shit less. </li>
</ul>
<b>Chapters</b><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;">
</div>
<ul>
<li>Invidia escapes Sotanocte with tome, but breaks her leg upon exiting the tunnels. Meets Gelfein and is taken aboard ship bound for Drow community, Shtepi ni’Det.</li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;">
</div>
<ul>
<li>Assault on Invidia by Neeral leads to mutiny. Crew rallies under Akorafae’s flag.</li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;">
</div>
<ul>
<li><strike>Akorafae takes them on a dangerous assault of…somewhere on the coast? They sack a town, plunder and such, are almost trapped, use their own boat as a fire-ship to escape, and take on a captured vessel as the new flag ship.</strike> [Bunk plot point. Reworked to become character growth.]</li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;">
</div>
<ul>
<li>When they finally make it back to Shtepi n’Det, Invidia is introduced to “Stone,” the ossified elder. Through touch-transfer, Invidia sees what really happened to the Forefather (Forebelo), why his name was wiped from the records, and why the book she possesses is so very important.</li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;">
</div>
<ul>
<li>As she settles into her life in the community and continues to heal, Gelfein becomes her constant companion. <strike>He is relieved of his duties as quartermaster and made Invidia’s personal servant. Gelfein’s grandmother hopes to make a match between them (priestesses on surface can have families and are not separated from the community like they are in the Sotanocte). Neither Invidia nor Gelfein has any interest in romantic bullshit, but the arrangement suits them otherwise.</strike> He teaches her to understand languages by ear instead of relying so heavily on sign.</li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;">
</div>
<ul>
<li>Neeral<strike> is shunned within Shtepi ni’Det because of his foul behavior, and he’s stripped of all rights. He finally</strike> steals the tome and a small schooner, running along the coast until he disembarks in Midterkyst (the capitol of learning). <strike>He tries to find a buyer for the book, but nobody can read the Drow dialect.</strike></li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;">
</div>
<ul>
<li>A member of the Tiernon <strike>steals the book from him and</strike> returns <strike>it</strike> the book to the tower to be translated. <strike>Saxa, a young scribe and linguist, takes months to fully understand the depths of the Drow language and transcribe the book, but she keeps coming back to the passage “On Breadth Keys,” completely fascinated by the prospect of a key that can transport the user ANYWHERE.</strike></li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;">
</div>
<ul>
<li>Lleu is in Himin, getting pissed about all the unfair treatment at Freyr’s hands. A human monk—Filip—is allowed unfettered access to Himin while the angelli can’t even go near the well without reprimand. His anger gets to the breaking point and he stages a coup. [Expanded.]</li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;">
</div>
<ul>
<li>There’s also shit going on in Sotanocte, not sure WHICH aspects to highlight, tbh. The Dell are the least clear to me in their affiliations and motivations. Llilinth is crazy bitch lady; Kea is sneaky sneak lady; and Selgetorn knows nothing, Jon Snow. [Expanded.]</li>
</ul>
<b>EPILOGUE</b><br />
<ul>
<li>?? Um…stuff… [Filled in to tie up a subplot.]</li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br />
SO, as you can see, it is perfectly normal to let your plot evolve and to rewrite, add to, or otherwise discard things. In the course of your writing, allow yourself to get it wrong, because you WILL eventually get it right, and then you will love the end result all the more for what it has become.</div>
<br />
Write on, wordsmiths. I'll be cheering you on in the background.K. M. Vanderbilthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05131697804902521538noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6726904020412004118.post-30151456703855538732016-03-23T13:03:00.000-07:002016-03-23T13:03:08.725-07:00Copyright: Yea or Nay?So there's a lot of debate on whether or not you should file for copyright. Why waste $35 when you have the publication date? Simply put, the digital age is a free for all in pirating. I can list a handful of friends--indie and otherwise--who have had their work pirated in various markets. Would having a copyright claim help them?<br />
<br />
Well, let's break this down, guys. You publish a book, decide to run a free campaign, or send out a few ARC copies to people you assumed were trusted friends, but now someone has pirated your book. You have the publication date, but that doesn't really mean much without the legal protection of a copyright claim. Can you prove YOU didn't steal your manuscript?<br />
<br />
What does the pirate have on their side? No way to know. Can you get them to take down your pirated copy? Sometimes. Is this going to impact your sales? Probably.<br />
<br />
There are a lot of things that end up in the air when something like this happens. Let's say the pirating site is based outside US territory. This doesn't always happen, but sometimes this ends up with a scary loophole where you can't do anything to get it taken down. The worst part of this, however, is if the pirate decides to press against you, that may mean your book gets frozen on Amazon until the issue is resolved.<br />
<br />
A blogger posted about this very incident (a blog which I've now lost). The author's account and sales were frozen pending an inquiry. But then, another person swooped in and offered help for a nominal fee. Obviously a scam, but I'm sure unsuspecting indies have fallen for it when they didn't have the backing of a press to go to bat for them. Could this author have saved themselves by having a copyright claim? Again, probably.<br />
<br />
This is on the more dire end of the spectrum, of course, but the result is clear. If you want protection as an indie, copyright is your friend.<br />
<br />
But maybe you've heard of poor man's copyright. Mail your manuscript to yourself and don't open it, right? TOTALLY legit. No, actually. This is a myth, and it will not protect you.<br />
<br />
What about getting a notary to stamp the seal of approval on a signed contract stating you are the owner of your copyright? Mmm...shady, iffy, maybe, but it may not hold up in court should things ever progress to that point. And really, this will still cost you about $10. Why not go the extra mile for the extra protection?<br />
<br />
You present an actual copyright in any of these situations, and it will clear itself up a lot more quickly. Plus, you avoid the whole "maybe" scenario. There is no MAYBE involved when you have a legit claim. And, let's be honest, there isn't much you can do outside of this. As mentioned, a publication date doesn't do anything protect you, poor man's copyright doesn't exist, and other (SEE: Cheaper) avenues aren't necessarily legally binding.<br />
<br />
In all, I'm firmly in the "why risk it" camp. For $35, you get the legal backing to protect yourself from a handful of scams and pirating tactics that could impact your brand and sales. Don't risk it.<br />
<br />
Carry your ass to the <a href="http://www.copyright.gov/" target="_blank">US Copyright Office</a> online and follow their VERY simple instructions to register a copyright claim. Don't argue. Just go. Keep in mind you only have 30 days to register after you publish your book, so if this is a case of needing to find the funds, plan ahead. Much like a condom, copyright protects you from oopsies. Keep that shit in your back pocket.<br />
<br />
<br />K. M. Vanderbilthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05131697804902521538noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6726904020412004118.post-64439897784843516772016-03-22T14:53:00.001-07:002016-03-22T14:53:49.336-07:00Marketing: What the Actual Fuck...Hey...ho...yeah! I see you over there. I wrote a friggin' book, hummie! When I started this blog...however long ago (feels like 10 years ago...but that's definitely not true), it was with this ephemeral little goal in mind that I've finally managed to achieve. Friggin' awesome, right?<br /><br />CHECK THAT OUT! LOOKIT! <a href="http://getbook.at/SkeinsUnfurled" target="_blank">Skeins Unfurled</a>, my lovely book that I'm so very friggin' proud of, is now live on Amazon and CreateSpace (and for those that subscribe, free on KindleUnlimited). Yeah...obligatory plug. Whatever. I'M PROUD, DAMN IT! Have I mentioned I'm proud? I did? Oh...well...yeah, I am...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmF52S_pgbcisAk1g3StAmo8dFLSAbThuuETPFmdvKGv6KEEffvhNWEpMsUSlfvG0gj7vPZOlIZkQ6KRnDIC2Q0bR7t7-0wXVcvr_g9y-cSyS9L1wzaPjIqA00plim04126XPJEz9d1rMX/s1600/Skeins+unfurled+FINAL+FRONT+low+res.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmF52S_pgbcisAk1g3StAmo8dFLSAbThuuETPFmdvKGv6KEEffvhNWEpMsUSlfvG0gj7vPZOlIZkQ6KRnDIC2Q0bR7t7-0wXVcvr_g9y-cSyS9L1wzaPjIqA00plim04126XPJEz9d1rMX/s1600/Skeins+unfurled+FINAL+FRONT+low+res.jpeg" /></a></div>
<br />
But just writing a book, making it pretty, and pushing the publish button doesn't really mean shit in this day and age when everybody and their dog can do (and are doing) the same thing, right? You're just a drop in a bucket in a sea of fuck its. Sad, but true.<br />
<br />
That's where marketing comes in. Now...I'm no guru when it comes to this end of the field. I have this...flail about until I fall into the "right" way mentality. Sort of...trial and error, I guess? Only I kind of tend to ignore it like a big ugly stain on a tie ("Don't look. Don't look, K. DAMN IT. I looked.").This is yet another thing I've read about a million blogs about and they don't help one damn bit. You wanna know why? Because the advice is ridiculous.<br />
<br />
You've got some people saying their life is consumed by a 9 to 1 ratio of marketing to writing. Who has time for that shit? Who WANTS to spend that much time at their pc shoving their book under other peoples' noses? I mean...I don't. I feel weird enough just plugging my book occasionally (like...once a week) in circles with other writers. Forget doing so in EVERY conversation I have with people I don't even know. Ew.<br /><br />Then you have people that just DON'T market. Kind of...sit there...obsessively clicking buttons to check stats and such. But the stats never move. Because they don't say anything to anybody. Ever. Even when there's an appropriate conversational piece to slip it in. Just...clicking away, staring at that never-changing stat...<br />
<br />
But let's get real. Neither of these approaches is ideal when you're an indie. Push too much, people ignore you and roll their eyes when they see you coming: "Oh. It's fucking Karen again. She's going to talk about her stupid book. Don'tmakeeyecontact! Lookawaylookawaylookaway!" Don't push at all and people don't know you exist: "There comes that weird guy that always brings his laptop to the coffee shop and stares at the same screen for an hour while he sips chai latte. I think maybe he's a serial killer."<br />
<br />
So what DOES work? Simply put, I dunno. One thing I do know, however, is that it helps immensely to have people in your corner. Meet, greet, connect, uplift within the indie circles. If you like something by another author, share that.<br />
<br />
Your job as an indie is to find the middle ground in marketing, wherever it may rest, but indies depend on word of mouth. Without a team of other people to help you, your career is probably never gonna get off the ground. Give and take, guys. Give and take. Support others within the community and you'll receive the same in return.<br />
<br />
This blog is not really a nugget o' wisdom...but...maybe more of a reality check? I can't really give a real marketing strategy because I don't have one yet. Kind of. Whatever. There will be more on this particular devil when I have some actual nuggets for ya.<br /><br />Until then, write on, wordsmiths.K. M. Vanderbilthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05131697804902521538noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6726904020412004118.post-17633839750178251352016-02-15T14:38:00.000-08:002016-02-16T14:33:34.436-08:00In a Pinch Cont'd: The Dreaded HeaderI see you're back again. Couldn't get enough of me, eh?<br />
<br />
Well, I'm assuming you have your basic formatting for ebook in hand by now, and you're just looking to finish up the print book. That requires a handy dandy header, though, doesn't it?<br />
<br />
Put your butt in the seat and hang on for dear life. Shit's about to get real.<br />
<br />
This is where things get completely FUBARed. The blogs I read tried to coach this via either Adobe Acrobat Pro or MS Word. Let me be clear: NEITHER OF THESE WILL WORK THE WAY YOU WANT THEM TO.<br />
<br />
Adobe gouges you ($15/mo or $500 for life), and on top of that it has only one simple way to format headers--page numbers and a single heading (book title). You wanna get fancy on it? YOU'RE FUCKED. Either you do it manually page by page, or download another program to use in concert with Adobe that will supply a wider range of options. BUT WHY? We aren't made of money. And the kicker? Once you finish doing your headers, YOU CAN NO LONGER EDIT THE BOOK. Just...fuck no.<br />
<br />
And as for Word? HA! I gave it the ol' college try...FOR TWO DAYS. I scoured the Internet basically to be told, "LULZ, Word doesn't have the option to format like that anymore." Nothing works because Word is a TWAT. Have I mentioned this? Oh...I have? Let me just reiterate this: WORD IS A BUTT SMEAR OF EPIC PROPORTIONS.<br />
<br />
But what about the stuff for OpenOffice? Holy crepes, man... It's like reading a manual for a time machine. I'm not a techie just because I dick around with the computer a lot. When I'm over here scratching my head after a dozen attempts, the manual sucks.<br />
<br />
Enough of that, though. Down to brass tacks. Your nuggets of wisdom are as follows:<br />
<br />
Go back over to the "Format" option on the ribbon. Click it and scroll down to "Page." I know; Here? Again? ALAS. Go over to the "Header" tab in the dialogue.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicR9qcBrvwtnTfTRS1whZfaWddUxoeinGCPtgI7aJUYg7kZpTIFH4hbT6z2VAElySc-0X5_Mnn0_b2v5NJ7RPxu3fv8GAB9ldHwtVHRarKvOOFMtng6ZojVrf97JCARILvyht60sgHGrR0/s1600/Headers.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicR9qcBrvwtnTfTRS1whZfaWddUxoeinGCPtgI7aJUYg7kZpTIFH4hbT6z2VAElySc-0X5_Mnn0_b2v5NJ7RPxu3fv8GAB9ldHwtVHRarKvOOFMtng6ZojVrf97JCARILvyht60sgHGrR0/s320/Headers.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
You want to turn the headers on. Notice that little box below it that says "Same content left/right"? Depending on what you want your header to look like, you will either leave that little bastard alone or unclick it.<br />
<br />
If you want the general header with book name at the top and pagination at the bottom, leave it. If, like me, you want something a little different, where your headers alternate between page and author name, or book title and page...unclick it. Know this, however: YOUR ROAD WILL BE A TOUGH ONE.<br />
<br />
Let's start with the easy stuff. You just want a general header/footer scheme as mentioned above? Cool. Leave that bad boy clicked on. Go over to "Footer" and turn that little monster on, too. Click "OK."<br />
<br />
Well shit the bed... See that skinny gray box at the top? That's your header. We don't want it mucking about on the title pages and the copyright page, however. It's time to kick that freeloader to the curb.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRuU_sziYlp_lh5OwTUJFgE1wt8muIeeiCsHyW-Q5mQnnPOuSs1SU5kVzwL70ZEcGoUnYl5M2fUCBfDjMoCNqNTtkjl2ulkKR-HeZT0xKzpceJ-BtLfVY3kEbJZaBLZE3Ok_EzmTKcXTKV/s1600/Headers2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRuU_sziYlp_lh5OwTUJFgE1wt8muIeeiCsHyW-Q5mQnnPOuSs1SU5kVzwL70ZEcGoUnYl5M2fUCBfDjMoCNqNTtkjl2ulkKR-HeZT0xKzpceJ-BtLfVY3kEbJZaBLZE3Ok_EzmTKcXTKV/s320/Headers2.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
You should still be in the "Styles and Formatting" option on the right hand toolbox. Across the top there, you'll see five icons. Click the fourth--"Page Styles." You're going to be in and out of here a couple of times.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGxsxXxaxrT-DYpGaILvrhxlhRfYahZnTil5e4KklUlyxyeabS-tMdzhv7eRKDCVMUQUFgzzFc4nt20bBgetwWOW_OCxOb8Jnl4LuKkM6sCITjFNelLyFImSTdCd7JfRcKVFY2-wFMCc8L/s1600/PagesFormatting.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGxsxXxaxrT-DYpGaILvrhxlhRfYahZnTil5e4KklUlyxyeabS-tMdzhv7eRKDCVMUQUFgzzFc4nt20bBgetwWOW_OCxOb8Jnl4LuKkM6sCITjFNelLyFImSTdCd7JfRcKVFY2-wFMCc8L/s320/PagesFormatting.png" width="145" /></a></div>
<br />
To repress the headers on ONLY certain pages, you have to format them differently. Right click on the "First Page" option and modify it. You'll have to reset your margins to CreateSpace specs, click the "Mirrored" option under "Page Layout," and make sure the header and footer are turned OFF. Then, click "OK."<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7qERcNOfHL1U7Fn6c_PfALMVOB3ebODDbgbKMzDSH9ulCab3O3k7576WK4chMtEBV6zJ882bru40vexDe0EWsxjOE7JVkoK_uDqGhb3yCzi-M8dQo5ahnnmrKLBcs-Jz-ql9ZgryWa-75/s1600/PagesFormatting2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7qERcNOfHL1U7Fn6c_PfALMVOB3ebODDbgbKMzDSH9ulCab3O3k7576WK4chMtEBV6zJ882bru40vexDe0EWsxjOE7JVkoK_uDqGhb3yCzi-M8dQo5ahnnmrKLBcs-Jz-ql9ZgryWa-75/s320/PagesFormatting2.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Place your cursor anywhere on the title page and double click the "First Page" Style.<br />
<br />
Interesting. No more header. But we still have one on the copyright page and the second title page. No bueno.<br />
<br />
Remember that "Breaks" option I mentioned earlier? Yeah, time to get into that. Go to your copyright page and place the cursor anywhere in the first line of text. On the side bar, click back onto the "Paragraphs" tab (first one across the top) in the "Styles and Formatting" option.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJDJ8ZmsjzC7Aj4VJF9-eNjT3ORhfJBuOnbJwMUDSJOaNhbMyJ1fd0DzO5E3F4F9wwH8Bw_70vzj2ci7CMPZ657EuAfE57pHifTd0gq4J7R9aut5Jw7kouOrGbsJbS1iKnlMWCFhlv66y6/s1600/Headers3.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJDJ8ZmsjzC7Aj4VJF9-eNjT3ORhfJBuOnbJwMUDSJOaNhbMyJ1fd0DzO5E3F4F9wwH8Bw_70vzj2ci7CMPZ657EuAfE57pHifTd0gq4J7R9aut5Jw7kouOrGbsJbS1iKnlMWCFhlv66y6/s320/Headers3.png" width="124" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
It should automatically show the Style that paragraph has been formatted with. Now, right click on it and select "Modify." Go into the "Text Flow" tab. Now...on your breaks, I pointed out the "With page style" option. Click it.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioRj-gac9YzsCxRuq7V40EpA0N2urNJd6Bs92AeGqFUNBQcruEmOaXrTEUBUc2IogGMpF6AaY5e5ehSTjDezYNzwnlh9qeztyW1cbPjNpvoIBZRLFdv4HtRU-FY7ETiUzVga64U2I1gP2Q/s1600/Headers4.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioRj-gac9YzsCxRuq7V40EpA0N2urNJd6Bs92AeGqFUNBQcruEmOaXrTEUBUc2IogGMpF6AaY5e5ehSTjDezYNzwnlh9qeztyW1cbPjNpvoIBZRLFdv4HtRU-FY7ETiUzVga64U2I1gP2Q/s320/Headers4.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
It will bring up this dialogue. You've already optioned this with a page break BEFORE this page. Specify the style as "First Page." Do this again with your second title page. It will format these pages as "First Page" and remove the header and footer.<br />
<br />
Now, you've come to your first actual page of the document, where you need your page numbers to start (maybe). Before we can do that, however, we need to reformat a smidge. If you attempt to insert a page number, it won't start at 1, but rather 4. That's not right. The front matter doesn't count.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwRYRNOzcgIswrs8OxLMaZPkP4iDDUhd_5IUD1NKI08vMBmeSzPL6MJ5hT1-BSB7ATlWRGpKpQXVryOTd2bX2SseeeHwublptRTGPP17uEbJ2wu4soChqbdBT3UM4_rLK0Rdsv18q9vpo8/s1600/Headers6.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwRYRNOzcgIswrs8OxLMaZPkP4iDDUhd_5IUD1NKI08vMBmeSzPL6MJ5hT1-BSB7ATlWRGpKpQXVryOTd2bX2SseeeHwublptRTGPP17uEbJ2wu4soChqbdBT3UM4_rLK0Rdsv18q9vpo8/s320/Headers6.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Before we can fully fix this, we have to backtrack a little. Highlight your "Chapter One," and right click the paragraph style. You want to create a new modified chapter heading Style. Just add "Mod" at the end when you name it. Go over to "Text Flow" and remove the break we put in earlier. Yeah, yeah, this backs it up onto the title page, again, but bear with me.<br />
<br />
Next, insert a manual page break. Place your cursor BEFORE "Chapter One." Go to your top ribbon and select "Insert," and then "Manual Break."<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWlyJdfBAKnrSLpyE31wfQwcJMa5OI8m9RQe_ugPMwg77E8ZYDryGarC_jc67Sx0_OwU9-qvPp9SEJKdelNCllhiU3v_i9RP78KMvC_EoxMX3Rnpl4Lm8ZrZ1pg3WgSDKco20SnMs7-i30/s1600/Headers8.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWlyJdfBAKnrSLpyE31wfQwcJMa5OI8m9RQe_ugPMwg77E8ZYDryGarC_jc67Sx0_OwU9-qvPp9SEJKdelNCllhiU3v_i9RP78KMvC_EoxMX3Rnpl4Lm8ZrZ1pg3WgSDKco20SnMs7-i30/s320/Headers8.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
It will bring up this dialogue. You want to specify it as "Default" and select the "Change page number" option, allotting the first number as 1. Click "OK."<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0uHEXUEwmLIa3jL99QDOPVrJyySFITKb6Og7MAWOiI_rptI6ZTZrqyjcGhLcGTCqZsC5AHMuSZViES3pdUThCfOqQ7okQQUvaqtoOdEsv-QbfmPhxH0xgfNAG8ZQyxLnNjA-G7pVSR35g/s1600/Headers7.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0uHEXUEwmLIa3jL99QDOPVrJyySFITKb6Og7MAWOiI_rptI6ZTZrqyjcGhLcGTCqZsC5AHMuSZViES3pdUThCfOqQ7okQQUvaqtoOdEsv-QbfmPhxH0xgfNAG8ZQyxLnNjA-G7pVSR35g/s320/Headers7.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Click into your footer and select the center justification option from the top ribbon. Go over to the "Insert" option and click on "Fields." Then click on "Page Number."<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiggJHJARsWT3KUSQGH_xKwsq0v2iuErPFRl5yz7zXsvmw9eEwuAaSmxu4tT7aDYA-UaAkhloyk8OsSZLVW_S7lVzBQTDhnoCIginuhvcxKXhGWKcrwiPJV6ouSUqs3DKjiDcOZgCoUQYFj/s1600/Headers15.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="167" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiggJHJARsWT3KUSQGH_xKwsq0v2iuErPFRl5yz7zXsvmw9eEwuAaSmxu4tT7aDYA-UaAkhloyk8OsSZLVW_S7lVzBQTDhnoCIginuhvcxKXhGWKcrwiPJV6ouSUqs3DKjiDcOZgCoUQYFj/s320/Headers15.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Almost done. Now, click into your header box and choose the center justification option on your top ribbon, then type the name of your book. You can play with the font and font size for the header and footer, but that's up to you. Boom. You're finished.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihieYQS9BfGfvOw2d55aUuKbndBXbhTHk2eeThheLWIkL9zeu1-Rr3MzmpUGxi44MnOuOcF5oxD5wtLKT6ZYRI6HOBpMSKz4s3ANL1aAAw0RZvbogieeG6c0CyCZE91W9g7_qHNhA97RtD/s1600/Headers9.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihieYQS9BfGfvOw2d55aUuKbndBXbhTHk2eeThheLWIkL9zeu1-Rr3MzmpUGxi44MnOuOcF5oxD5wtLKT6ZYRI6HOBpMSKz4s3ANL1aAAw0RZvbogieeG6c0CyCZE91W9g7_qHNhA97RtD/s320/Headers9.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Pretty snazzy, right? Hmm...maybe not. Let's say you decide you don't want the header and footer on the first page of the chapter. Looks a little cluttered or whatever.<br />
<br />
Okay, place your cursor anywhere in the text for your first chapter page. Go back over to "Page Styles" tab (fourth across the top in the "Styles and Formatting" option) and click "First Page." Great. No more header or footer.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsTCApv5rxXABN5t29tolywQzh1RheX5YHxGZQUFz7JPYHcddvKmeoDcJLCmkd5lwaj-KHM7l27TPPeT9TJAso9W0KXDEznipazEeN0Jh0oFWQtrtaHS_xqPLe6FMHTfQ2RvdHtrZXp6jC/s1600/Headers10.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsTCApv5rxXABN5t29tolywQzh1RheX5YHxGZQUFz7JPYHcddvKmeoDcJLCmkd5lwaj-KHM7l27TPPeT9TJAso9W0KXDEznipazEeN0Jh0oFWQtrtaHS_xqPLe6FMHTfQ2RvdHtrZXp6jC/s320/Headers10.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
But uh oh, when you go to try this on the next chapter, it doesn't work. Remember that adjusted chapter heading Style and the manual page break we inserted? Yup, you got it.<br />
<br />
Highlight "Chapter Two" and double click the modified heading style to apply it. Next, place your cursor at the very end of the text for chapter one (after the period on what I've circled below) and insert the page break. You want "default" and don't mess with the page numbers this time.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk78eBE6nUmZkaQ44KesXnG6S2H70NYUW0b-Xp8f10dFA6-6EQ3aJHjTri1lPERYYSV9G-97TNNrRxkJkbYlXvcKjrL0bI332An6hinLHdzQFDSamT6u63VfCkOCUA5rpDeQTwDkFz-slX/s1600/Headers11.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="166" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk78eBE6nUmZkaQ44KesXnG6S2H70NYUW0b-Xp8f10dFA6-6EQ3aJHjTri1lPERYYSV9G-97TNNrRxkJkbYlXvcKjrL0bI332An6hinLHdzQFDSamT6u63VfCkOCUA5rpDeQTwDkFz-slX/s320/Headers11.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Next, place your cursor anywhere in the text for the first page of chapter two and apply the "First Page" style again.<br />
<br />
FUCK YEAH! This shit looks good.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDXqHy5C7tQx8AI9_zTIeve462FhgNLkyEzyAavZS4plm4v65B6wIblNRYSymwTkZCkr9dn9eICs9FcvPU9noDFEGeYySyoVJcNMk0Vh1DCd1GX6NgQvYMgecYmrqMPEOJuLMP9cbDhud-/s1600/Headers12.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDXqHy5C7tQx8AI9_zTIeve462FhgNLkyEzyAavZS4plm4v65B6wIblNRYSymwTkZCkr9dn9eICs9FcvPU9noDFEGeYySyoVJcNMk0Vh1DCd1GX6NgQvYMgecYmrqMPEOJuLMP9cbDhud-/s320/Headers12.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Okay, but maybe not good enough. Let's say you want to do the alternating headers. This gets a little trickier.<br />
<br />
Go back up into your "Format" option from the top ribbon and click "Page." Right here, in case you've forgotten.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwoCfoUQIx76uwiZOGjDVfSchTmeFbAQ8cCyHtmZE8Zzx0M2Axx4uphxoGmBrWnExJRFMbLkNmVNgoerq2qjdxYZLz-fZE0wFjUHEQAYw_ScZ6CemXfX4xle8Y5yAEr7Cem0u5CHkpt-3v/s1600/OpenOffFormat1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwoCfoUQIx76uwiZOGjDVfSchTmeFbAQ8cCyHtmZE8Zzx0M2Axx4uphxoGmBrWnExJRFMbLkNmVNgoerq2qjdxYZLz-fZE0wFjUHEQAYw_ScZ6CemXfX4xle8Y5yAEr7Cem0u5CHkpt-3v/s320/OpenOffFormat1.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Now, go over to the "Header" tab. You want to unclick the "Same Content Left/Right" option. If you're following this from what's already been done, you also need to go over to the "Footer" tab and make sure it's turned off.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizOa7wL69a8LXb5wMLT0YkKNeYLsqDEs795u1K4QRFffu0JKP5E2yULODaWiG54vXRmnTqD1QAmHZgStX4mMbJ0nN-nHXB5k-0wNcX_sAGl1PC5dt851cbvL6s37nH_a6-vjtdAbG85vQn/s1600/Headers13.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="167" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizOa7wL69a8LXb5wMLT0YkKNeYLsqDEs795u1K4QRFffu0JKP5E2yULODaWiG54vXRmnTqD1QAmHZgStX4mMbJ0nN-nHXB5k-0wNcX_sAGl1PC5dt851cbvL6s37nH_a6-vjtdAbG85vQn/s320/Headers13.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
IMPORTANT NOTE: When you open a print book, all of the even numbered pages should fall on the left side. Go check all of the books you have. Yup. What we've done with the basic formatting here (full title page [right], copyright page [left], half title page [right], chapter one [left]), this can become an issue. Depending on the amount of front matter, your book's even pages may fall on the wrong side. You can just insert a manual break after the full title page (creates a blank page) to make sure your pages are placed correctly.<br />
<br />
This is important because when you format the alternating headers, all even pages should have the header placed on the left hand side (away from the binding, right? RIGHT!).<br />
<br />
Now, you should only have the header box showing on the subsequent pages following the first page of your chapters. Click into the header on the second page of chapter one. Select the left justification from the top ribbon, then go back to the "Insert" option and insert your page numbers.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgigrwXFSdQtFnKIg8NQx0ZHUs5KzcxP4-hjT2R6BJtnUVheYroXOG2cTTExYs-PLXTtTEqTVzJst9GEKDVf0davAGV6OYEpq0RIB3jEUsBDqq5Rdl6-ONo8lCrF-VRJrmCvqHVb2e8P0x6/s1600/Headers14.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="169" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgigrwXFSdQtFnKIg8NQx0ZHUs5KzcxP4-hjT2R6BJtnUVheYroXOG2cTTExYs-PLXTtTEqTVzJst9GEKDVf0davAGV6OYEpq0RIB3jEUsBDqq5Rdl6-ONo8lCrF-VRJrmCvqHVb2e8P0x6/s320/Headers14.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
IMPORTANT NOTE: Sometimes OpenOffice will try to force a ghost page on you and no matter what you do, your numbering will be off for no apparent reason. The ghost page only appears on the "Page View" option (what I've circled below). Seriously? The fuck is this shit? It counts the ghost page as 1, which throws off every page thereafter. No bueno.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeklQ8Bt8H-qv25nhT_QrEqGT-r14RKOybPElKR7S_12mWWKIBNn46rL4HH4gr-KocWt4JxgbVlTJpdd8bGIEUiRTtGt-PcY3lCutuLESxtgxdfGf3Wyc79XiWposkwtaPizmQH-1-nPKW/s1600/Headers16.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="169" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeklQ8Bt8H-qv25nhT_QrEqGT-r14RKOybPElKR7S_12mWWKIBNn46rL4HH4gr-KocWt4JxgbVlTJpdd8bGIEUiRTtGt-PcY3lCutuLESxtgxdfGf3Wyc79XiWposkwtaPizmQH-1-nPKW/s320/Headers16.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Now, seemingly, no matter what you do, you can't get rid of this sumbitch. I found this <a href="https://wiki.openoffice.org/wiki/Documentation/FAQ/Writer/FormattingPagesAndDocuments/I_have_a_blank_page_in_my_word_processing_document._How_do_I_get_rid_of_this_extra_page%3F" target="_blank">post</a> from the OpenOffice help desk. Didn't work. BUT...<a href="http://ooo-forums.apache.org/en/forum/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=62912" target="_blank">this</a> one did.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsH-YbftWKOmcfc8bCdNYN-vi0uFEg5SPYIo8GVxZIC6awjitPp5Z11k7PcphN7H7eZ7_AXsEA987_fAxFhwZ44rQADWmnHG8bp9eiGuOYm-VnsNJeZXjYyTfWToIzqpQQ2NBdozZgNTQY/s1600/Headers17.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsH-YbftWKOmcfc8bCdNYN-vi0uFEg5SPYIo8GVxZIC6awjitPp5Z11k7PcphN7H7eZ7_AXsEA987_fAxFhwZ44rQADWmnHG8bp9eiGuOYm-VnsNJeZXjYyTfWToIzqpQQ2NBdozZgNTQY/s320/Headers17.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Anywho, your name should appear on all left hand headers. You can either keep it justified with the number, or put it in the middle of the page. The easy way is to keep it to the left hand side. Just hit the space bar, type your name, and voila.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjySCqWVW6nKcKt8DIX8u97VF20HkGgQmxqQ_B-iGKnZrD0KwiH40ZmeLkz9PY4dpIK3morYr5SbBZc9X-i-bYxjujtCMRxou-RD11iGFJA7w6016ccX6vLzEiRBxy2NYNnGVIDJ1c8uIU/s1600/Headers18.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjySCqWVW6nKcKt8DIX8u97VF20HkGgQmxqQ_B-iGKnZrD0KwiH40ZmeLkz9PY4dpIK3morYr5SbBZc9X-i-bYxjujtCMRxou-RD11iGFJA7w6016ccX6vLzEiRBxy2NYNnGVIDJ1c8uIU/s320/Headers18.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Now, go onto the third page of chapter one and click into the header. Choose the right justification from the top ribbon. Type the name of your book, hit the space bar. Click "Insert," "Fields," and "Page Number." BOOM! Fuck yeah, man. Is that the most beautiful thing you've ever seen or what?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi82a29BNV761NlSyix2N3PZBeuKzWZ9yIEj_H1CzIIdZRxK2em-Q6ObiqqUNCNIIAX6-kVv7uZTe5RkXi6moY6lGJ5uiv0E_u-IBzfClhLkgkHeAwdNLXEqrk5KSMjLXyQxUKTJVhS6WIK/s1600/Headers19.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="169" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi82a29BNV761NlSyix2N3PZBeuKzWZ9yIEj_H1CzIIdZRxK2em-Q6ObiqqUNCNIIAX6-kVv7uZTe5RkXi6moY6lGJ5uiv0E_u-IBzfClhLkgkHeAwdNLXEqrk5KSMjLXyQxUKTJVhS6WIK/s320/Headers19.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
If you chose "or what," you suck, but this is YOUR book. I understand you want it to look good. So let's say you want to do a segmented, alternating header. You want your name and the book name to show up in the middle of the header, while your page numbers show up on the outer edges.<br />
<br />
Pretty simple stuff. While in your header for page 2 (and after deleting any previous information), go up to "Table," "Insert," "Table."<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinDidSvtM2TvoRzxvpUs8hhP0-j722kTM2h_sj_pts_sv29mqfhdW2m3JtEQW9gV89ldMiImJObeTwQzl6j8eu4TNGpO6OGuQBw0JNyVoINKQmjRN2v5L-s-idoVljkPMZIVijkDeSuNyb/s1600/Headers20.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinDidSvtM2TvoRzxvpUs8hhP0-j722kTM2h_sj_pts_sv29mqfhdW2m3JtEQW9gV89ldMiImJObeTwQzl6j8eu4TNGpO6OGuQBw0JNyVoINKQmjRN2v5L-s-idoVljkPMZIVijkDeSuNyb/s320/Headers20.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
It will bring up this dialogue, which you need to format like so. Make sure you unclick "Border."<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8DPwV_T-z0MYX_i95gv5wHcsntXthcx6VQ2gYeZZ6ndr0Uf1P-VEA3LcHgCabZT-ncr5UipAQnlT8MoD0YI_qnq9iJYrwJlKDMgpzjQCcSv2NGCsT9uktCgyYYUvpTz2E0cuuvswjjVqZ/s1600/Headers21.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="187" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8DPwV_T-z0MYX_i95gv5wHcsntXthcx6VQ2gYeZZ6ndr0Uf1P-VEA3LcHgCabZT-ncr5UipAQnlT8MoD0YI_qnq9iJYrwJlKDMgpzjQCcSv2NGCsT9uktCgyYYUvpTz2E0cuuvswjjVqZ/s320/Headers21.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Now click into the leftmost column. Go up to "Insert," "Fields," and "Page Number." It should automatically have the left justification selected. Click into the center column, select the center justification from the top ribbon, and type your name.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz6MKy5U0G_jtRLGxgd4yTRA65IhvYv0_9oonXatKCOPz8Vj4v1wvvgyCMNqyUZAetsOh8IgZZSJ7jrvUaFS10Dr4YmluRZj7k4qy2PzrnNkIVoYlQhUAfaUeGmOu4H5ZrTrsw_F0ndVyk/s1600/Headers22.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz6MKy5U0G_jtRLGxgd4yTRA65IhvYv0_9oonXatKCOPz8Vj4v1wvvgyCMNqyUZAetsOh8IgZZSJ7jrvUaFS10Dr4YmluRZj7k4qy2PzrnNkIVoYlQhUAfaUeGmOu4H5ZrTrsw_F0ndVyk/s320/Headers22.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Now go over to page three. With your cursor in the header, insert another table with the same specifications. It will automatically name itself. On the rightmost column, select the right justification from the ribbon, then insert the page number. In the center column, choose the center justification, then type the name of the book.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2ep_DzrNi7uL7-bWd1jFowTGqr6iplWlOU6lfu2dwELmeYp7bf0v_W7Gq__ts7-xa-mB-TBTc0WldYEnvuvwyP5qEIeEW4bwoxnD9UI5CawpiRtAcrRQ0bRm9eHDjmyvG-owONq3omxjt/s1600/Headers23.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2ep_DzrNi7uL7-bWd1jFowTGqr6iplWlOU6lfu2dwELmeYp7bf0v_W7Gq__ts7-xa-mB-TBTc0WldYEnvuvwyP5qEIeEW4bwoxnD9UI5CawpiRtAcrRQ0bRm9eHDjmyvG-owONq3omxjt/s320/Headers23.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
And there you have it. The finished product will look something like this:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrxAW4R8O5Vcu-vDqAgptTfs0eGco2l9KhlL3AMjHVo0rtmDGSgjq5USeofyGBWjKhhFwG5ruKai7xuxO_O5eHmFvaeAmKMuFJrXVQtacsMAEG6WiaDGpGvddmNMTM8a2lqfVzs-jx_s5d/s1600/Headers24.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="169" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrxAW4R8O5Vcu-vDqAgptTfs0eGco2l9KhlL3AMjHVo0rtmDGSgjq5USeofyGBWjKhhFwG5ruKai7xuxO_O5eHmFvaeAmKMuFJrXVQtacsMAEG6WiaDGpGvddmNMTM8a2lqfVzs-jx_s5d/s320/Headers24.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
So...no melting down, my lovelies. This unholy shite CAN be done, and--what's more--it can be done for FREE.<br />
<br />
*tips hat*K. M. Vanderbilthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05131697804902521538noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6726904020412004118.post-35674782385243755222016-02-14T21:43:00.000-08:002016-02-15T14:39:11.955-08:00In a Pinch Cont'd: Formatting Like a BeastOkay, so it's come to my attention formatting sucks. No. Seriously. I jokingly talk about pulling my hair out when it comes to my struggles all the time, but I'm shedding more hair than usual over the stress here.<br />
<br />
You can find all kinds of nifty shifty blogs on the Interwebz that talk about how to format a book from different word processors, but you know what the uniting factor in all of these little bastards is? They never conclude with an easy button that just lets you take care of it in one fell swoop. It's always one more thing, get one more program...and worse things. Ugh.<br />
<br />
So what have I learned from all of this--other than formatting is an unequaled evil? Basically, there's not a comprehensive tutorial on how to handle this shit. Rather than let fellow indies melt down like me, I'm going to supply you with more nuggets of wisdom.<br />
<br />
First off, if you're using Microsoft Word for your book... Oh, you sweet, summer child. I will send sacrifices to Odin in your name. Hopefully this blog will stave off some of the frustrations I've dealt with in the past two months. If you haven't started formatting, DON'T. Just go get OpenOffice from Apache right meow.<br />
<br />
BUT, let's assume you're a naive yokel like me and you used Microsoft Word to write your book. First off...smash the formatting. NO. Seriously. Get rid of it. ALL OF IT. The only thing MS Word is good for is your ebook, but you need to start from scratch.<br />
<br />
So, smashing formatting. To do this? Simple. Copy/pasta the entirety of your novel into the notepad. It will nuke almost everything. Paste back into Word, then go through and remove any remaining bits and bobs, reformat your italics, etc. You can follow steps 1 and 2 from this <a href="http://thefirstfivepages.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/how-to-format-your-manuscript-for-ebook_17.html?zx=ce190353aa3d1ef2" target="_blank">blog </a>for this part.<br />
<br />
It's helpful to save your ebook formatting as a new file to reference back and forth for reapplying italics. Also, this first blog is fine to follow in its entirety for ebook, but print is a different beast entirely. And, honestly, I've come to prefer Styles. If you want to attempt Styles in Word, take a gander at this <a href="http://shadowandclay.com/2015/11/book-formatting-learn-to-love-styles/" target="_blank">blog</a>. But don't say I didn't warn you when it comes time to do your headers.<br />
<br />
ALSO NOTE: If you are using a newer version of MS Word and insisted on formatting via this processor, you will need to revert to .doc (Word 2003) in order for your spacing to be preserved via Styles. For whatever reason, newer versions of Word are an absolute TWAT when it comes to this. ANOTHER thing I had to research when I couldn't figure out why my spacing wasn't working like I wanted it to.<br />
<br />
In order to do this, click "File" on your ribbon while the document is open.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNALIB923jrVZ-AvMV6WpyicpbkbT1QwRGC805vmQC1nKa3rXpTHWc-nCaJQr3uUIbmMDqUeSV8OHSku5HN-pqbMUda2YVav2LCu8yDDqgJ22odQ9TNEup22xMNHWQ7KzxZAVYHy5onYmd/s1600/FileClick.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNALIB923jrVZ-AvMV6WpyicpbkbT1QwRGC805vmQC1nKa3rXpTHWc-nCaJQr3uUIbmMDqUeSV8OHSku5HN-pqbMUda2YVav2LCu8yDDqgJ22odQ9TNEup22xMNHWQ7KzxZAVYHy5onYmd/s320/FileClick.png" width="307" /></a></div>
<br />
Click "Export" on the toolbar.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8DXe4Ze6k-Mb-6HGi7juJ9Lq8Kho_p5Isvrvei2bh1MHANFxT6N0S7rvZ3tOV45S3ZRtpFswSLoSeevpB8cPDI-SEWYFRjn4DCV7HkPbTYpcf6TwRK1GMkWxpbz-5Xdp7uYucO8pZlDKI/s1600/ExportClick.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8DXe4Ze6k-Mb-6HGi7juJ9Lq8Kho_p5Isvrvei2bh1MHANFxT6N0S7rvZ3tOV45S3ZRtpFswSLoSeevpB8cPDI-SEWYFRjn4DCV7HkPbTYpcf6TwRK1GMkWxpbz-5Xdp7uYucO8pZlDKI/s320/ExportClick.png" width="309" /></a></div>
<br />
Click "Change File Type" in the options box and select ".doc".<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXlOJtdr3YqgFSrybPyQX6EyfuDHBqtJwEnT5Bu3SFeftFYqGxSYE0Zq73zofNMTKhkqkJhZk24Gorxx_eyMWxYk_teq2XsTmeV_ETnSjDEgWV9WsXTam893LWKeIDDWr2hvuFVaUgvCSS/s1600/DocSelect.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXlOJtdr3YqgFSrybPyQX6EyfuDHBqtJwEnT5Bu3SFeftFYqGxSYE0Zq73zofNMTKhkqkJhZk24Gorxx_eyMWxYk_teq2XsTmeV_ETnSjDEgWV9WsXTam893LWKeIDDWr2hvuFVaUgvCSS/s320/DocSelect.png" width="308" /></a></div>
<br />
Now, that blog I linked and my quick notes SHOULD handle all of your most basic formatting needs for ebook.<br />
<br />
For your print book, you'll need to do a little research on CreateSpace or wherever you publish through to find the exact specs you need, and then format your document accordingly. For CreateSpace, the most commonly used is the 6x9--what I chose--and you can find the specs <a href="https://www.createspace.com/Products/Book/InteriorPDF.jsp" target="_blank">here</a>. <br />
<br />
So, let's get started on the OpenOffice piece of the tutorial. Fire 'er up and click on the text document.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijQB_eEk4wOZRgmQLg7G7JLeeuYnMdAwSY_3xhHOsWM2ML1nYOLLmux4sxh5opmeV6K0dx5GTFktxr8LIGlsjiobSpYMe2xBYFqQKoBDqBulmTPEuU9FhsqLEejcNg_MaxYmrPL0N0XKtH/s1600/OpenOfficeBegin.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijQB_eEk4wOZRgmQLg7G7JLeeuYnMdAwSY_3xhHOsWM2ML1nYOLLmux4sxh5opmeV6K0dx5GTFktxr8LIGlsjiobSpYMe2xBYFqQKoBDqBulmTPEuU9FhsqLEejcNg_MaxYmrPL0N0XKtH/s320/OpenOfficeBegin.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Next, take that unformatted version of your original book and slam it into an OpenOffice file.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJXHHp5KA5-ICyl6HkVwp6pG7kSK03druHMypeEek4TusPSYg23x5YQMcv9ny7lVbfrttMaw2zh1qLJSdIg0yAsDi8BqcumdzGslns4sAbTztCzMcprrFNVgleHdAohHRAZAiyGMn-2yQr/s1600/OpenOffNewProject.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="167" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJXHHp5KA5-ICyl6HkVwp6pG7kSK03druHMypeEek4TusPSYg23x5YQMcv9ny7lVbfrttMaw2zh1qLJSdIg0yAsDi8BqcumdzGslns4sAbTztCzMcprrFNVgleHdAohHRAZAiyGMn-2yQr/s320/OpenOffNewProject.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Formatting the size of the document to the CreateSpace specs is a good place to begin. The easiest way to do this is to open up the "Formatting" tool and click "Page."<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcMDu-mbjEhSiBNZP0gR-J-vPY3IVNr2VxWtKFyGIPsxb6TzLJz3dukJtSZf6ePkfGw55fDM63xH3JzFCab0jfd9v62HKk6DZCOu3NnKfc-zeZT0ZeVqQlEqLmr3jHLl1o9y96l26A9Rhn/s1600/OpenOffFormat1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcMDu-mbjEhSiBNZP0gR-J-vPY3IVNr2VxWtKFyGIPsxb6TzLJz3dukJtSZf6ePkfGw55fDM63xH3JzFCab0jfd9v62HKk6DZCOu3NnKfc-zeZT0ZeVqQlEqLmr3jHLl1o9y96l26A9Rhn/s320/OpenOffFormat1.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
This will open up a dialogue that allows you to edit a whole host of things. For right now, just concentrate on the "Page" tab. Notice where I've set these specs? Under "Paper Format" you will need to supply the inch measurements of your book. Adjust margins accordingly for the size of your book, but make sure "Mirror Margins" is selected for "Page layout", as well as the "1,2,3" formatting (these are important later).<br />
<br />
IMPORTANT: When CreateSpace refers to your "Gutter" margin, that will be the "Inner" option under "Margins."<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP3dXFsexUFPR8x66zuaBBNW9W1DrFm4XFKYuHlxPoLDN_4o1ctHaY-Gx7Ing1VQVUOlNgj1JEeECRoNCoBzLgkyoQz_Kr3EuSvT4QAlDvZvDMCurMmi1Wjp8qJ3j7D_XLYUP8_kteye_d/s1600/FormatBox.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="253" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP3dXFsexUFPR8x66zuaBBNW9W1DrFm4XFKYuHlxPoLDN_4o1ctHaY-Gx7Ing1VQVUOlNgj1JEeECRoNCoBzLgkyoQz_Kr3EuSvT4QAlDvZvDMCurMmi1Wjp8qJ3j7D_XLYUP8_kteye_d/s320/FormatBox.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Next comes the fun part with Styles. Now, I've just ripped a REALLY old beginning RP post to sub in for this tutorial. Notice there's no extra spacing there, however. Everywhere a paragraph should begin, we would hit return ("enter" on the keyboard) and then tab over, right? I backspaced that stupid tab. Styles will take care of the indent so this shit looks good.<br />
<br />
So pop on over to the right hand toolbox and click this little bubbly icon thinger for your "Styles and Formatting" options.<br />
<br />
NOTE: If you already did your print book formatting in Word, Styles will mostly transcend any hokie shite that goes on from switching processors--MOSTLY. Be prepared for some tweaking and hoop jumping if you import from Word, however. Just refer to the rest of this tutorial for an idea of how to tweak as needed.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg17Plc4cuKl01QbHkLwy5EUoCqRU-OWVcanXx0Jd57z3SWIvWgybgd1uvbFkR8BOisNAPSqVTioSS2wm-cgUl3JbeKJYO2X5QpxGuv8AmLnv-xggyj-lJczngOjIuRIDcuNLbn3QV1ghO1/s1600/Styles1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="166" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg17Plc4cuKl01QbHkLwy5EUoCqRU-OWVcanXx0Jd57z3SWIvWgybgd1uvbFkR8BOisNAPSqVTioSS2wm-cgUl3JbeKJYO2X5QpxGuv8AmLnv-xggyj-lJczngOjIuRIDcuNLbn3QV1ghO1/s320/Styles1.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Once you have your Styles selected, you're going to set up your spacing and fonts, headings, etc. I generally only fuck with the "Heading" option and the "Text Body" bit to build my styles, however.<br />
<br />
So let's take it from the top. Your title. Right click on "Heading" and choose "New." It'll bring up this dialogue. Name it "BookTitle" or something along those lines so it's easy to spot.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWNfVH9lkNhF1vrZ6ljXNpGcx9oDKOJ9VhGGE4AE2xfAJ2eB4LuJOx9Hc-Hy7nBTgfOIQnkOWqJk85X7CnK1KJmhIlUf0BzPmDHPLpgZRmMR0DXnbPMhJSrxghd63tH7EFUDpxWwcDXzFA/s1600/TitleStyle.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWNfVH9lkNhF1vrZ6ljXNpGcx9oDKOJ9VhGGE4AE2xfAJ2eB4LuJOx9Hc-Hy7nBTgfOIQnkOWqJk85X7CnK1KJmhIlUf0BzPmDHPLpgZRmMR0DXnbPMhJSrxghd63tH7EFUDpxWwcDXzFA/s320/TitleStyle.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Next, hop over to the "Indents and Spacing" tab. This is where you control where and how the text is placed. I've left the "Indent" option alone as this is for your title--no indents necessary. The spacing on the other hand is something you'll want to mess with. I've just thrown 3 inches in there as a reference. That means 3 inches will appear at the top of your page before the title is printed.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibGZXiA7cKoLb1YLI5MdF_LzPQa0cG_W3oaYyoe376TX4ykOgCrQE2ZjOh9MJC7UzuE-vETvvk5ms_q1tPtajpG1axdA-PI6D4EZoa3Xht-hy8tGBv3FIXXRR5jscy4C_fpVynshyphenhyphenMzuv7/s1600/TitleStyle2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="268" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibGZXiA7cKoLb1YLI5MdF_LzPQa0cG_W3oaYyoe376TX4ykOgCrQE2ZjOh9MJC7UzuE-vETvvk5ms_q1tPtajpG1axdA-PI6D4EZoa3Xht-hy8tGBv3FIXXRR5jscy4C_fpVynshyphenhyphenMzuv7/s320/TitleStyle2.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Next, move over to alignment and click "Center." The "Text Flow" tab is where things start getting a little weirder. See that "Breaks" section? Take note of it. You'll be back here a lot later on. Unclick the "Keep with next paragraph" option.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXtCHyw8_4lwEyw8OKlw0_7Aa0xj-GOqLnxlP5W2lkOLCNBf1Mcn2LjcRw_XQJjJr5BKYwWQ9bOG1Io7OXuT8E1pSbozGQN8InEhmQDj5PbZlkyf7DXzX6AJ5mDWeC4-hEVFbLn-9ioaTW/s1600/TitleStyle3.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXtCHyw8_4lwEyw8OKlw0_7Aa0xj-GOqLnxlP5W2lkOLCNBf1Mcn2LjcRw_XQJjJr5BKYwWQ9bOG1Io7OXuT8E1pSbozGQN8InEhmQDj5PbZlkyf7DXzX6AJ5mDWeC4-hEVFbLn-9ioaTW/s320/TitleStyle3.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Now move over to the "Font" tab. You can adjust a lot of stuff in here. Whatever you want your title to look like. I've just picked some shit at random, but you'll want to play with this until it's pretty and up to your standards.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoz9mI4qA-OVaYDKtQHjtZzC1UQArIdpZLBm2jLJ_PdlGR46u07XM1XtnQ7hN3PrcPXfg4w2YvG3Hagc6TYImqu8dQcP8Pj8ZFO68cUo6CZBGpKaqwv38aFCjCYAiEslvwkESDJy6CRI5y/s1600/TitleStyle4.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="262" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoz9mI4qA-OVaYDKtQHjtZzC1UQArIdpZLBm2jLJ_PdlGR46u07XM1XtnQ7hN3PrcPXfg4w2YvG3Hagc6TYImqu8dQcP8Pj8ZFO68cUo6CZBGpKaqwv38aFCjCYAiEslvwkESDJy6CRI5y/s320/TitleStyle4.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Skip "Font Effects" and go over to "Position."You can adjust the kerning in there by condensing or expanding by a certain amount, but that's up to you. It won't always show up with some fonts. Not necessary to mess with it anyway, so you're safe to skip it. Click "OK" when you're done and move on to the next part.<br />
<br />
Highlight your title text and double click your new Style. If it's too big or small, not spaced properly, etc., just right click on the Style and hit "Modify." Go back through the tabs and adjust as necessary.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7MXtGUsqDRQ2tbohuHQZixRFW0TGWjI6zJMSy3rYJdWiC5uIwxtSVQenHFDDv3Isuew6ipkMcjsyYQqaIdBNhc5Kiy6wNf83S0t1K7XUVNPUCPheR3rFuNaxFFUkQDMYofDQcPPPGv2ak/s1600/TitleStyle5.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7MXtGUsqDRQ2tbohuHQZixRFW0TGWjI6zJMSy3rYJdWiC5uIwxtSVQenHFDDv3Isuew6ipkMcjsyYQqaIdBNhc5Kiy6wNf83S0t1K7XUVNPUCPheR3rFuNaxFFUkQDMYofDQcPPPGv2ak/s320/TitleStyle5.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Next, go back over and right click on "Heading" again. Click "New." This time you'll be creating a subtitle Style. Repeat the previous steps with this one until you have it as you'd like it. Highlight your subtitle text and double click the new Style.<br />
<br />
NOTE: If you end up with a massive amount of space between your title and subtitle, you can fix this by highlighting the title, right clicking the Style, hitting "Modify," and adjusting "Line Spacing" under the "Indents and Spacing" tab. If you notice, in the previous picture, there's two inches of space beneath "The Murky Prophet." While I didn't specify space beneath the Style, it's there. I just adjusted the "Line Spacing" to "Fixed" and specified 1 inch of space to get the look below.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC2LT-wLJUiasA0hgxptO_j75RV-m8UXvapOce52wvr71gHsfzoxXANOTK2Od5SXAp1NlwGrA845aWr0fedk2DEFcC5QyrBeqLHfwbqQq9RKuq72cmj6t4nHRzq9cxpuGNpJcoxf542xzy/s1600/SubStyle.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC2LT-wLJUiasA0hgxptO_j75RV-m8UXvapOce52wvr71gHsfzoxXANOTK2Od5SXAp1NlwGrA845aWr0fedk2DEFcC5QyrBeqLHfwbqQq9RKuq72cmj6t4nHRzq9cxpuGNpJcoxf542xzy/s320/SubStyle.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Repeat this process with your name.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4UaZhiihIPUS6VYC-76wgzdxEk5qMDYq9xHUEpQDxX0ZKPteV1M5JcMnHXk1wOX-Cg5SbDqfZMvBlxuBRJ8_JDmmXD7Xyv-XCNFZYKiX86mUCgfbn5MIR4VjY3YAck0BcqP-G2hnpWgv8/s1600/SubStyle2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="167" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4UaZhiihIPUS6VYC-76wgzdxEk5qMDYq9xHUEpQDxX0ZKPteV1M5JcMnHXk1wOX-Cg5SbDqfZMvBlxuBRJ8_JDmmXD7Xyv-XCNFZYKiX86mUCgfbn5MIR4VjY3YAck0BcqP-G2hnpWgv8/s320/SubStyle2.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
HUZZAH! Now we're getting somewhere. Okay, now we've got to create a page break for the copyright page. We don't want that on the same page as our title. SO, go over to "Text Body." Right click and select "New." Repeat the previous steps, but on the "Text Flow" tab, you need to get into the "Breaks" area.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbOZkCi-dW9uXTiuHWxDwLCbWTyd3ZO7Ee3UszRLMZMJkBnSzfggpiIfUxBnjC5HlmzggBpiALK2co32Td-UCvHPDfFNwYLvi4X1xUVy5f1VqUbPdIERsDrc6OUafH_iX8nUJTCAu2pvuA/s1600/PageBreaks.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="264" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbOZkCi-dW9uXTiuHWxDwLCbWTyd3ZO7Ee3UszRLMZMJkBnSzfggpiIfUxBnjC5HlmzggBpiALK2co32Td-UCvHPDfFNwYLvi4X1xUVy5f1VqUbPdIERsDrc6OUafH_iX8nUJTCAu2pvuA/s320/PageBreaks.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Click "Insert." It will automatically position the break before the highlighted text. Keep that in mind as we move forward. You see that "With Page Style" option up there? Remember that. You'll be using that a lot in the near future. When you've got your general body font chosen, just hit okay. It'll look something like this without any fancy bells and whistles.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSSqDEge0nKvYVLbWTmwuIZ_qGCEya-i7JCZs925DqzLb_Dh1p4-eWZ9WQExda-_OkbTqG9QLPfmQOkMDCiYCFXmW-WgbVQtpJGBqkPY-bdyjiF-I4UpmoVkrbw-qZ2auv5Rqy63VW4Otg/s1600/PageBreaks2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="167" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSSqDEge0nKvYVLbWTmwuIZ_qGCEya-i7JCZs925DqzLb_Dh1p4-eWZ9WQExda-_OkbTqG9QLPfmQOkMDCiYCFXmW-WgbVQtpJGBqkPY-bdyjiF-I4UpmoVkrbw-qZ2auv5Rqy63VW4Otg/s320/PageBreaks2.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
You've got another title page after this one most likely, so just right click your title Style, select "New," and create a slightly modded title Style based on the original. You'll need to include a break with this one, just like for the copyright page. Reuse your subtitle Style. It'll look like this.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIW44p1-mFIDjZVv4SaBV1E8G4sJw5O6eQlHBiHa10zs9BLETJVxDMUzP0InEfak7k1wUaOcX7HLjJET19zbaXa3lNYZj8uDLkE-mswiMmYvsXcWNZhPi2ZbF-rA19T4PXkiDUGBxkDH5k/s1600/Breaks3.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIW44p1-mFIDjZVv4SaBV1E8G4sJw5O6eQlHBiHa10zs9BLETJVxDMUzP0InEfak7k1wUaOcX7HLjJET19zbaXa3lNYZj8uDLkE-mswiMmYvsXcWNZhPi2ZbF-rA19T4PXkiDUGBxkDH5k/s320/Breaks3.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Alright, now we get into the actual body of the book. Create a new style based on "Heading" for your chapter titles. Same basic stuff we've been doing, also with a break so it isn't cluttering up that title page. You'll probably want to put space above and below the chapter heading so it isn't crammed at the top of the page or right on top of your body text. Will look a little like this.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhalp4CIp5A_1qmVxAqILvgrGaY2uxUKkxWKA5w7g8RNK05aas_jFlvqaa2YIwUsxOpOaYnDnR7hT9N2VfRo2kX_UcdbdlOKQ-tvCNQjiizTRp0qX1Gh5pravWJhpXQclY8FslggHk6-wEY/s1600/ChapterHead.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="167" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhalp4CIp5A_1qmVxAqILvgrGaY2uxUKkxWKA5w7g8RNK05aas_jFlvqaa2YIwUsxOpOaYnDnR7hT9N2VfRo2kX_UcdbdlOKQ-tvCNQjiizTRp0qX1Gh5pravWJhpXQclY8FslggHk6-wEY/s320/ChapterHead.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Now...the actual manuscript. You'll want to right click on "Text body" and click "New." This is what the majority of your book is going to go under. Granted, it's the same basic stuff with your fonts and things. The big difference is that we finally get into the indents.<br />
<br />
On the "Indents and Spacing" tab, you'll want to specify that the first line is indented by either 0.3 inches or 0.5 inches. Either is acceptable. In the "Alignment" tab, choose "Justified." In the "Text Flow" tab, make sure "Keep with next paragraph" is unclicked. Click "OK" and apply.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6g61q91rHonJiPysbciwUBbGInZwbPVY86hVPdBFqBJqlsGNakm11ZPT8x_vUy7i7da-HP3i0xGJxIKBLELSrqB36CXv0nXzeoilRVSy23C-sJniiL0l0k2Hy1_UhyphenhyphenJaxW89O83btssOV/s1600/Indents.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="264" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6g61q91rHonJiPysbciwUBbGInZwbPVY86hVPdBFqBJqlsGNakm11ZPT8x_vUy7i7da-HP3i0xGJxIKBLELSrqB36CXv0nXzeoilRVSy23C-sJniiL0l0k2Hy1_UhyphenhyphenJaxW89O83btssOV/s320/Indents.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Will look something like this. Pretty little indents, all in a row. And none of that crappy MS Word formatting that messes things up.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio6DronEcZq0x6Z09TUAw_mRAFuwK-IbeXUhS5GZ7YnF61075-uHn7YTnW8SZpm3aMj249Ty7nui-h5nv57ULl4dtmy4nDh24biMbRsbmrNY-wsUMqhfRMbl5nXh3I3FW2NEvGIR6eZw2N/s1600/Indents2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio6DronEcZq0x6Z09TUAw_mRAFuwK-IbeXUhS5GZ7YnF61075-uHn7YTnW8SZpm3aMj249Ty7nui-h5nv57ULl4dtmy4nDh24biMbRsbmrNY-wsUMqhfRMbl5nXh3I3FW2NEvGIR6eZw2N/s320/Indents2.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Highlight the next chapter and double click the already prepared chapter heading Style. Do the same with the body text. Wash, rinse, repeat. You get the idea.<br />
<br />
And that's basically all it is. Your end result will come out looking something like this.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2unRHHkJCT6eW7N43earfOTThFOQ4v12NFYMuGlm508g8BqgRyI2z9nhLeYgOOOx80PCRkxUfzYdChwVuBgo0GKBbFJOshE17gB5EjpTnso7cOcNQFPxNCVI2AB_259PVVDMzGVtqgXdx/s1600/FinalFormat.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2unRHHkJCT6eW7N43earfOTThFOQ4v12NFYMuGlm508g8BqgRyI2z9nhLeYgOOOx80PCRkxUfzYdChwVuBgo0GKBbFJOshE17gB5EjpTnso7cOcNQFPxNCVI2AB_259PVVDMzGVtqgXdx/s320/FinalFormat.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Heh...guess you noticed the header up there. Another tutorial on those little bastards can be found <a href="http://theemptywaterdish.blogspot.com/2016/02/in-pinch-contd-dreaded-header.html" target="_blank">here</a>.K. M. Vanderbilthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05131697804902521538noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6726904020412004118.post-21898907021367453112016-02-11T12:06:00.000-08:002016-02-11T14:26:53.285-08:00In a Pinch: Forboden Characters, Making Images, and FormattingHello again, friends. I greet you this fine Thursday morning with more nuggets of wisdom.<br />
<br />
Are you publishing soon? Going the self-publishing route? Formatting your book yourself? Here's some junk you should probably know...because I found out the hard way and it sent me into an apoplectic fit trying to figure out how to fix it.<br />
<br />
Okay, so, Amazon--the behemoth. You'd think these guys would up their ding-dang-darn game already and have pretty much every character set known to man as a "supported" format when you publish with them. Sadly, this is NOT the case.<br />
<br />
For those of you not in the know, when I speak of "characters," I am not referring to those beautifully crafted people in the novel you wrote. Not this time. This time, I'm referring to the actual freaking LETTERS you use when you clickety-clack-type that novel.<br />
<br />
Now, most of you are probably smarter than me and only used the predominant Latin alphabet we see in the English language. A through Z, yeah? Keep it simple. More power to ya. This part of the blog probably won't apply to you, but skim down to the images part if that's the case.<br />
<br />
The rest of you: hunker down over here and listen real close. If you wrote fantasy, sci-fi, etc. and thought you were going to be tricksy by using character sets from other languages sprinkled through your manuscript, you might have screwed yourself. Take a look at this <a href="https://kdp.amazon.com/help?topicId=A3G4LY8RGZ9SP6" target="_blank">guide</a> to see if the character sets you used are supported; you'll notice both a visual guide and a list there. CHECK THEM. Be sure. If you publish with unsupported characters, you will end up with blank boxes, weird script, or question marks to indicate said characters.<br />
<br />
In my case, I've got two areas where this comes into play--the Maltese alphabet and the Elder Futhark. In the Maltese language, the barred H (<span style="font-family: "junicode"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">ħ) </span>character indicates a different phonetic sound than the Latin H, which lent itself well to a divergent culture of gods and their progeny. The Elder Futhark, the runic alphabet used in ancient Scandinavian and Germanic cultures, was my creative attempt at scene breaks. The Futhark was also used in rune-casting, where each letter indicates certain aspects of fortune or misfortune, and I decided to use three runes to include hints as to what was happening in the chapters. Clever me, right?<br />
<br />
Now, there's not much I can do about the barred H character except get phonetic on the spelling. The Futhark was a different ballgame, however. This is where the images part of the wisdom comes into play.<br />
<br />
In my search for a way to circumvent Amazon's bastard limitations, I came across a blog that detailed how to create and embed images into my manuscript. All well and good, except it said to do screen shots. Now, I don't know what programs this blogger was using, but I spent an ungodly amount of time ripping my hair out because this shit just DID NOT work. I could create screen shots, pull the image into GIMP, crop the desired runes and all...but I could not make these assholes the same size for each scene break. Plus...the image deteriorated and was grainy. EW. <br />
<br />
If you're a little on the OCD side--or even just want your book to look slightly more professional--this shit is a no go. In my quest to figure out how to make it look nice using limited freeware, this was my alternative process.<br />
<br />
First off, go download GIMP if you don't have it. It's Photoshop for the poor man, freeware that allows you to manipulate images. You can find it from the GNU project, and it's virus free. Once you've done that, this is how it goes.<br />
<br />
You want to create a new project, like so:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvJxkCN8UXWevhS6_JleQaXg3xHW85OyJw6UbfG7ys7CDqQpZUmP4FGyiYwu9eIdXiHD0-HkoCpVjKnrJ7IOeSLK3NdtnRMCK0XEzR-7V_pctqCNV65x2IkBEsRgmYEDjCB8R4vKllYtXE/s1600/NewProject.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="243" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvJxkCN8UXWevhS6_JleQaXg3xHW85OyJw6UbfG7ys7CDqQpZUmP4FGyiYwu9eIdXiHD0-HkoCpVjKnrJ7IOeSLK3NdtnRMCK0XEzR-7V_pctqCNV65x2IkBEsRgmYEDjCB8R4vKllYtXE/s320/NewProject.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Next, you're going to want to decide how big this bastard canvas needs to be. As you'll be working within a word processor, use inches as your measurements. For me, I needed something smaller, so I went with a 2 inch width by 1 inch height. Super simple ratios.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiEPOo02x42X4lIhnMf7XZ_mobfMWmQS1PEWlhp6458Pgyxg33Hpv7KyrKdJNFF9_uIlHn3_B-HyClCqc4y_NBCHSn-t91UzooibWA-Otd7XE0xvw-h1QQQXl39mbGWa5tw1HZf6JYh4P7/s1600/CanvasSize.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="205" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiEPOo02x42X4lIhnMf7XZ_mobfMWmQS1PEWlhp6458Pgyxg33Hpv7KyrKdJNFF9_uIlHn3_B-HyClCqc4y_NBCHSn-t91UzooibWA-Otd7XE0xvw-h1QQQXl39mbGWa5tw1HZf6JYh4P7/s320/CanvasSize.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Once you have your canvas size selected, you need to "color to alpha." This makes your base canvas transparent, so when you upload the images, it doesn't create funky gray/white washes against the manuscript. You ONLY want the text to show up.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7ktF_blIit3yriTI5EoAvyF7Q__m8Bpc9tbjuoBlEOF2K-FqfmJ_EPzKaL1jq8IABRckkKkWzbD3b8xX9xswWh1VNqf4J2FRlQa_eT3vrUAZrwZrvi1SD6xA6vA8Gw6n9F-9lEM2Q9Tcy/s1600/Alpha.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="259" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7ktF_blIit3yriTI5EoAvyF7Q__m8Bpc9tbjuoBlEOF2K-FqfmJ_EPzKaL1jq8IABRckkKkWzbD3b8xX9xswWh1VNqf4J2FRlQa_eT3vrUAZrwZrvi1SD6xA6vA8Gw6n9F-9lEM2Q9Tcy/s320/Alpha.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Should look like this:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq9Z1TFFNkhq7IlVK6acpR1zI6NOEOZF_Hj7nQ3RlZPZD0wmM_Citc2qKNFUwKSsqRHbEkEnr4THPGKUqTtWWz3Joh9AfVdFqapiI0YQtzomocYdzDPi60uKZxeSfKBd98pN3djOCYnrRZ/s1600/AlphaCanvas.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq9Z1TFFNkhq7IlVK6acpR1zI6NOEOZF_Hj7nQ3RlZPZD0wmM_Citc2qKNFUwKSsqRHbEkEnr4THPGKUqTtWWz3Joh9AfVdFqapiI0YQtzomocYdzDPi60uKZxeSfKBd98pN3djOCYnrRZ/s320/AlphaCanvas.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
Next comes the fun part. You need to create a text box layer that lines up with your base. Little time consuming, but it should work out fine if you mess with it a bit. Click the "A" on your toolbox.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqTw8LjQ7fdgTfpOWXX9ETYnbzkijrBpWfcv7mAKtcLPiQX6wUkXAIZ2_kIjwq7Y2YgfYLY2lGF79vERJuq9K8IwJwuubliFX0_3fJZnM9E_IeUj9rq1Dz22vcK8jnlxU9uaGi0KZeokO1/s1600/SelectText.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="186" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqTw8LjQ7fdgTfpOWXX9ETYnbzkijrBpWfcv7mAKtcLPiQX6wUkXAIZ2_kIjwq7Y2YgfYLY2lGF79vERJuq9K8IwJwuubliFX0_3fJZnM9E_IeUj9rq1Dz22vcK8jnlxU9uaGi0KZeokO1/s320/SelectText.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
You'll get the general text cursor (looks like an I). I try to click as close to the left edge of the base as possible when putting the text box in. Saves a little time in lining it up. After that, you'll see the yellow boxes at the edges and corners of the text layer when you move your mouse around. Use these to stretch it around the base until it lines up.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyPcKs6iBUv42Kdhet2xk_3RxYqTDQdgZ1d06KBdqfRNjcN4y7qWXOB46GSiQCB6TxJkCbmSKxOVRLnWbmT1nSzOj0twdFXRQiITv8xl73joVXPmpIOE9eSMpfNkV3B6l3BaCfmqTKXj-p/s1600/TextLineUp1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyPcKs6iBUv42Kdhet2xk_3RxYqTDQdgZ1d06KBdqfRNjcN4y7qWXOB46GSiQCB6TxJkCbmSKxOVRLnWbmT1nSzOj0twdFXRQiITv8xl73joVXPmpIOE9eSMpfNkV3B6l3BaCfmqTKXj-p/s320/TextLineUp1.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDZ6LWUbrUP1BXpFHB1jDNLQ1kF3JI7tmOaVymfwlNXLvX2YFFuVGjEkhLKWXPmZMdKGuo6wulNymkUdwPfwBWvXRtdB4j0I0a071O4UiTmdYBbjdwD04-WC27REc0H1VaLiIwJMhEr5Qa/s1600/TextLineUp2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDZ6LWUbrUP1BXpFHB1jDNLQ1kF3JI7tmOaVymfwlNXLvX2YFFuVGjEkhLKWXPmZMdKGuo6wulNymkUdwPfwBWvXRtdB4j0I0a071O4UiTmdYBbjdwD04-WC27REc0H1VaLiIwJMhEr5Qa/s320/TextLineUp2.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8Xw0JC7ATPkWUJrZR-4oV4cegdUNSeyBoTmzusKOLQHZloeirLsQAFaGeRufNeY0I486af4o65rZDZXYLEXv7xrloxdtzGiUF_KqCYga28-byaGSUZap1ln2jVqW_w6-7hk8kK7TErz9e/s1600/TextLineUp3.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8Xw0JC7ATPkWUJrZR-4oV4cegdUNSeyBoTmzusKOLQHZloeirLsQAFaGeRufNeY0I486af4o65rZDZXYLEXv7xrloxdtzGiUF_KqCYga28-byaGSUZap1ln2jVqW_w6-7hk8kK7TErz9e/s320/TextLineUp3.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
And voila! All lined up. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Next, you'll need to copy the text from the manuscript that you want to make an image. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
(SIDE NOTE: I freely admit I got really lucky here. GIMP supports the Futhark runes, so it was a simple matter of copy and paste. Barring that, you'll have to download a free font and unzip it in GIMP. Keep in mind, when I say "free font," I mean free for COMMERCIAL use. If you intend to publish, you have to make sure the fonts you use have a free commercial license or you can be sued for using them on a project you intend to profit from.)</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKGXu0kg1G51c3Z9kCxdJt8yAeMBZXbokMPWqP7A7-ZLIdqDgrOoQ2QiCJ7_GM_FXLheBxLAfzZ-u_WD60Q0Gf9EfiQQ_UvET0-zgKKTVtt2LJXWPSxyVehWIL177-pRybZdrDbKzOlN2o/s1600/CPRune.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKGXu0kg1G51c3Z9kCxdJt8yAeMBZXbokMPWqP7A7-ZLIdqDgrOoQ2QiCJ7_GM_FXLheBxLAfzZ-u_WD60Q0Gf9EfiQQ_UvET0-zgKKTVtt2LJXWPSxyVehWIL177-pRybZdrDbKzOlN2o/s320/CPRune.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
You'll notice my runes are centered (top to bottom and left to right). I did this the easy way, by copying the blank line above and below the text in the word processor (top to bottom alignment). To get center justification, you merely need to choose it from the dialogue in the toolbox (beneath the tools, the dialogue contains options for font, font size, color, alignment, etc).<br />
<br />
You have the hovering dialogue for text you can utilize for the font, size, and color, as well. Play with this until you get it the size you want. Best to avoid colors other than black unless you're printing a colored book. Colors don't show up on ebooks anyway.<br />
<br />
From here, you want to export the file.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5C6Pz-JYX-BVDX-SKfG6g5W29FiJpPKU7ee4yU8DA8zGHleO6c9wVPIgMx5MaVfZ_PM6whzmOYNZXL0r-LKHODC2xiTpXC3YX1olU-d_AFI42OeWSbOTFYiYubUs7TaR941aGtIA0rHWt/s1600/Export1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="274" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5C6Pz-JYX-BVDX-SKfG6g5W29FiJpPKU7ee4yU8DA8zGHleO6c9wVPIgMx5MaVfZ_PM6whzmOYNZXL0r-LKHODC2xiTpXC3YX1olU-d_AFI42OeWSbOTFYiYubUs7TaR941aGtIA0rHWt/s320/Export1.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
After you've clicked the "Export" option, this dialogue will appear. Remember to save it as a JPG file. This preserves the transparent base, and also helps to reduce deterioration. Kindle only supports JPG and GIF, but GIF is balls for clarity.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfakYVu-BixkI-IWlSDhrHyEjn_Jpln-eKlBQi0sNHr_Px_fL9zOPHDNYmL0VmeX7fUblTvZE3_O_Y_IJ777MXEHYPLO9Q0sRpGDk9UBDA3ynR8UPSVy9Koi6bZpViZCFQbHGMZBbT-bnm/s1600/Export2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfakYVu-BixkI-IWlSDhrHyEjn_Jpln-eKlBQi0sNHr_Px_fL9zOPHDNYmL0VmeX7fUblTvZE3_O_Y_IJ777MXEHYPLO9Q0sRpGDk9UBDA3ynR8UPSVy9Koi6bZpViZCFQbHGMZBbT-bnm/s320/Export2.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
(NOTE: If you have to create more than one of these images, DO NOT close the original box/base/text you have created. Merely paste the new text into the same box, replacing what was previously there, and export under a new name. This will save you a lot of time and keep each image to the exact same specifications.)</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
From here, you upload the file into your manuscript. This is different for each word processor. I only use MS Word. Just a matter of clicking "Insert," "Pictures," and then selecting the saved file.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPJI8LxDHarcuGQ2VXeqL9L7BJcBu9bUX5cFtgPvMdBcGsuMk7GbzQ75zDhBnr4_v3IlDAH1gcpJMXa8Or_SXDdD8jcaSRQAaZmVhyHWXQ_U8oAf6XF6sNNTbQHbtNlpIvuViBMeMD5oF1/s1600/InsertPic.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPJI8LxDHarcuGQ2VXeqL9L7BJcBu9bUX5cFtgPvMdBcGsuMk7GbzQ75zDhBnr4_v3IlDAH1gcpJMXa8Or_SXDdD8jcaSRQAaZmVhyHWXQ_U8oAf6XF6sNNTbQHbtNlpIvuViBMeMD5oF1/s320/InsertPic.png" width="319" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSdRjI0Z3gRzSglzNc-FyTZoz7CtX6nVT0OkbH-ZQuokQeq-wpuRzx2XXB-VdT9ZQTCUvp3uLiXdRsk4dxhfrkZ_r7pueche9wUMJsfVCarqj-HySXexff3P-XXlf8VoftBRhea5nacN2t/s1600/InsertPic2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSdRjI0Z3gRzSglzNc-FyTZoz7CtX6nVT0OkbH-ZQuokQeq-wpuRzx2XXB-VdT9ZQTCUvp3uLiXdRsk4dxhfrkZ_r7pueche9wUMJsfVCarqj-HySXexff3P-XXlf8VoftBRhea5nacN2t/s320/InsertPic2.png" width="315" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
You may end up playing with the size ratio a bit to get the image to look right when situated with the text. I deleted the blank line above and below where I inserted it, as well. To get the dialogue options, right click on the photo and go to "Size and Positioning."<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-kqkQB3l99Wy9Qc0IPKvWdHtk_x5tUHIsJhLqY1Cm6R7WFtQOm9Ik2-AZ4tuXF2x8JMyai_A06QRXYV-IBnHMClofTZjL-Km7xo2TA6f6QmG1Akn4wNSSWogPF9F4F4i0gJLA8IAKa1NP/s1600/InsertPic3.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-kqkQB3l99Wy9Qc0IPKvWdHtk_x5tUHIsJhLqY1Cm6R7WFtQOm9Ik2-AZ4tuXF2x8JMyai_A06QRXYV-IBnHMClofTZjL-Km7xo2TA6f6QmG1Akn4wNSSWogPF9F4F4i0gJLA8IAKa1NP/s320/InsertPic3.png" width="308" /></a></div>
<br />
Make sure your ratios are locked in that dialogue before you mess with anything else, and that you choose the text wrap (in-line) option. From there, you should only need to adjust one ratio (width or height) to get the image the size you want. For me, these scene breaks looked best at a 0.7 inch height and 1.4 inch width.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpCB5s2MnyP8ubIvFOLIBcPwAa5XcuFnqNI1Cn0ymZlv2YyiIkrFm4guLOxV7lQelzJYSa1HhddWxSoTWnGxCJrUKVpyeJOVPckG4ZKlOuspDHk4Rz6lgzGZmyXfAwFiCqFHq1Q0MW4m7g/s1600/InsertPic4.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpCB5s2MnyP8ubIvFOLIBcPwAa5XcuFnqNI1Cn0ymZlv2YyiIkrFm4guLOxV7lQelzJYSa1HhddWxSoTWnGxCJrUKVpyeJOVPckG4ZKlOuspDHk4Rz6lgzGZmyXfAwFiCqFHq1Q0MW4m7g/s320/InsertPic4.png" width="306" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5YQTnvys0ZupfLNZdJipxqfsaV8ZeujV1gtJfZzmMIehH5lilM3XMYSAP5FuHWrWwcq1CPLzaM5UiyTMsoTsaS-hXBl-iYm7SxTdjYNwZvtFVxNrQxOD2Q8adHSuczotxhTedks9bXjBb/s1600/InsertPic5.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5YQTnvys0ZupfLNZdJipxqfsaV8ZeujV1gtJfZzmMIehH5lilM3XMYSAP5FuHWrWwcq1CPLzaM5UiyTMsoTsaS-hXBl-iYm7SxTdjYNwZvtFVxNrQxOD2Q8adHSuczotxhTedks9bXjBb/s320/InsertPic5.png" width="310" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
And there you have it. The final, viable product will look something like this:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsVILEZAJOOEfT56MaGdAJbmwtaPIGY99b8k5E5twLqxT9pQbwPeffvRYeUe4tpVHtolby57k5gGEqBV49moozDluBCDIYfqtffVmttuwJ9ifTmQMDdfZiuf_vVln50-ujmZ-AMfwc84DT/s1600/FinalProduct.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsVILEZAJOOEfT56MaGdAJbmwtaPIGY99b8k5E5twLqxT9pQbwPeffvRYeUe4tpVHtolby57k5gGEqBV49moozDluBCDIYfqtffVmttuwJ9ifTmQMDdfZiuf_vVln50-ujmZ-AMfwc84DT/s320/FinalProduct.png" width="315" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Or, in my case, something like this: </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkny20K8fb01TNUPH3zEuwCnjjccDzrLi8Pztd9GJDz_9wHuElM_uBGoQCle1C8Ptu7pSMYg4nZ4q1GSfzZytwFTcWQRVi0tovoa6JjWLpctpdNY1He867yRgvZk88QWuz95QMaTBoDfJc/s1600/GlyphThang.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkny20K8fb01TNUPH3zEuwCnjjccDzrLi8Pztd9GJDz_9wHuElM_uBGoQCle1C8Ptu7pSMYg4nZ4q1GSfzZytwFTcWQRVi0tovoa6JjWLpctpdNY1He867yRgvZk88QWuz95QMaTBoDfJc/s320/GlyphThang.png" width="311" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
See you on the other side, guys. This publishing junk is a pain in the ass, but there's always something to be learned. Hope this helps you.</div>
<br />
And, as always, write on.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />K. M. Vanderbilthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05131697804902521538noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6726904020412004118.post-46745968464655921352016-01-21T10:50:00.000-08:002016-01-21T10:50:51.341-08:00Story Time: An Excerpt of Doom<div class="MsoNormal">
As per usual, my day drug slower than a slug on ice. When
lunch rolled around, I almost missed it because I was too absorbed. Losing
myself in corporate claims had been a boon; I hadn’t thought about my brother
all morning.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Until
my manager knocked on the cubicle.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Snapping my head up, I glared at
her. Karen smiled widely to show off perfect white teeth. In another life, I
might have liked her. In another life, she might not have been a blood whore.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Everyone
knew she liked to mingle in the lower tiers and share space with Vamps. It
wasn’t just the blood, though; plenty of people sold it to make an extra buck.
I could have forgiven her that.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Born and raised in Tier 2, she’d
never known what it meant to struggle. From her chic bob cut to her designer
shoes, she was every inch the rich bitch she appeared to be. But underneath
that, she was just another upper tier whore that liked a cheap thrill.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">What everyone else didn’t know,
however, was her unfortunate status as a carrier. One of her Vamp playmates had
a strain of chlamydia that dated back to the 1700s, something modern medicine couldn’t
touch. She was and always would be…Chlamydia Karen. And it made my stomach roll
to even be in the same vicinity of her.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">“Are you coming, Amsel?"</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">It took a concentrated effort not
to curl my lip. Forcing a smile, I shook my head. “I’ll catch up. I need to
finish this claim.” My voice was even, honeyed—fake.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">She didn’t take the hint. Coming
forward, she hit the save function and jerked me out of my seat, sending the
rolling chair careening against the wall of the cubicle. “Come on. My treat!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">My skin </span><i style="text-indent: 0.5in;">crawled</i><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"> at her touch. A gag that masqueraded as a laugh poured from
my mouth. I pulled away from her, though kept in step. I couldn’t be rude to
this woman without fear of putting my job in jeopardy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">“Where are we going?” I prayed it
wasn’t a buffet. I didn’t want her hands anywhere near something I intended to
put in my mouth.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">She waved a dismissive hand,
escorting me to the elevator and outside the building. Her driver was at the
curb, door open as he waited for us to climb into the back seat. “There’s a new
sushi place a few blocks from here everyone has been raving about. It’s time
for your review, so I thought we could kill two birds with one stone.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Well, sushi was made to order, at
least. I still wasn’t happy about the informal setting of my review. This
spelled “you’re fired” in big, bold letters.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">“Don’t you usually do reviews…at
the office…?” I was fishing and it was obvious.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Karen just smiled again. “Relax,”
she instructed, her voice flat. “We’ll talk over lunch.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">My heart pounded against my rib cage
like it would try to escape. When that didn’t work, it fell into my gut and
tried to force its way out through my stomach. In all, I felt ill.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">If I lost this job, I wouldn’t have
the income to pay back the interest on my loan and keep up rent on the apartment.
My second job covered the principle, but it wasn’t enough for everything. I
didn’t want to resort to…other means.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Swallowing down my misgivings and
the grapefruit sized lump in my throat, I tried to maintain the cool veneer as
we arrived at the restaurant. It was upscale, neons tasteful in cursive. Karen
led the way inside and we took a booth against a wall…well away from anyone
that might hear what she wanted to discuss.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">After we ordered, she set aside her
menu and gave me a level look. “I know about your brother.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">That…wasn’t what I expected. It
must have shown in the wide-eyed stare, the furrowing of my brow, or maybe the
gross, open-mouth gape.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Karen just laughed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">“What…?” I stopped myself, leaning
back as I glanced away and got myself under control. There was no telling what
she knew about my brother. I wasn’t going to supply her with more gossip
fodder. “My brother is dead.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Tsking, she put her elbows on the
table, hands clenching into a double fist beneath her chin. “Do you really believe
that?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">I glanced back at her just in time
to catch the censoring eyebrow she raised. That was </span><i style="text-indent: 0.5in;">it</i><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">; I couldn’t take any more of this. Job or not, nothing was worth
letting Chlamydia Karen condescend to me. “I know what it means to be a Vamp,
you bitch. He’s </span><i style="text-indent: 0.5in;">dead</i><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">. And even if
that’s only a technicality, he’s dead to </span><i style="text-indent: 0.5in;">me.</i><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">It was true. Part of joining the
Exsanguiners meant giving up his life in tier 3, any rights he had to ever come
out of the darkness again. It meant he had to give up family, too. He had
chosen those fucking leeches over </span><i style="text-indent: 0.5in;">me.</i><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
Bitter didn’t begin to cover how I felt.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Unable to hold back the vitriol, I
glared at her and continued my tirade. “You don’t know anything, Karen. So
whatever this little ‘friendly’ lunch is about, I’m over it.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">When I scooted to the edge of the
booth, she muttered, “And here I thought you’d want insider info about how he’s
doing.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">My ass hit the seat hard enough to
bruise my tailbone. Slowly, I craned my neck, my eyes wide as I pinned her with
a bewildered stare. I felt like my chest might cave in. “You—”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I told you,” she interrupted, “that I know
about Ben.” Inclining her head, she dropped her hands and raised that perfectly
sculpted eyebrow again. “Should I call my driver, or would you like to discuss
this?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Edging
back into the booth, I cleared my throat. I felt like the biggest ass on
record. Even if Karen was disgusting, Benni’s choice wasn’t her fault. I tried
to work up an apology, but she didn’t give me the chance.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I find
it ironic that you hate Vampires so much.” Her tone was inquisitive without
being derogatory, something I had yet to master. Flicking her eyes up to meet
mine, she smiled. “Everything considered, I thought you’d be grateful.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My
stomach rocketed toward my throat as my mouth went dry. All of my energy
drained out of suddenly numb fingertips. I was grateful for that; if I’d had
even an ounce of nerve control, I would have launched over the table and
strangled her.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">“How…” I had to clear my throat and
start again when the word emerged as a breathy croak. “How can you say that?
They took him from me.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The
conversation paused when the waitress brought us a porcelain flask of sake.
Karen took the liberty of pouring us a drink. Using a knuckle, she slid one of
the tiny cups over to me. I downed it without hesitation, barely tasting the
rice wine as it slid down my throat. All I felt was the heat. It burned in
counterpoint to my anger.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I say
ironic because the Exsanguiners were only a doorway. In opening it, Ben has
found a labyrinth. And once he navigates his way through, he will have the
power to strike back at the one who took”—she shifted and a metallic clang rang
out—“this.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Had she
just…? I looked down and fairly shook with rage when I saw her peep-toe pump
hovering near my leg. She had. That bitch had kicked my prosthetic!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My head
snapped up so fast my neck threatened to snap. “If you ever touch me again, I
will end you,” I whispered. “Now tell me what you know so I can get the fuck
out of here.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Chuckling,
she poured another round of sake. Despite the threat, she didn’t appear fazed
in the least. Rather, it seemed to invigorate her.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Have
another drink, Amsel.” She flicked a lock of black hair from her face, raising
the porcelain cup for a sip. “You and I should really have a better relationship
at this point.” Tipping the glass back, she drained the rest of the rice wine
and smirked. “I am the only link you have to your brother.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Though
I wanted to hurt her, I forced the desire into submission. I closed my eyes and
took a deep breath. When I exhaled, I felt ready to face her again, but I
refused to open my mouth. I knew it would be nothing but a spray of acidic
words. That was getting us nowhere.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I
remained silent, she shrugged and adjusted herself more comfortably on the
cushioned bench. “Very well. As I was saying, Ben did this for you. Your
attacker is released… When was it?” Her brow furrowed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Next
week.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Ah.”
She tilted her head up as if the information was enlightening somehow, as if
she didn’t already know the answer. “That’s right. Next week. And, as we all
know, once a Were goes feral, there is no therapy in the world to scratch that
itch. She’ll be free to attack someone else. Perhaps…” Sighing, she put on a
mask of emotional distress. “Well, you were the one that put her behind bars.
That would be horrible, of course, but one never can tell what those pesky
furballs will do.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I
couldn’t wrap my mind around this. Benni had never hinted his time with the
Vamps had anything to do with me. It always seemed like a rebellious teenager
thing. I mean, everybody had that phase, right?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">It got even harder to mesh the
ideas together when I thought about my brother as he’d been. This was the kid
that ran around the house screaming, “Kunta Kinte,” when his father tried to
make him answer to Benito. He wasn’t the type that infiltrated a Vampire gang just to get revenge.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
K. M. Vanderbilthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05131697804902521538noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6726904020412004118.post-16715439306922159252016-01-13T10:17:00.001-08:002016-01-13T10:17:04.915-08:00Bubble Popping: Editors and YouThis blog is a little different from my others. I still have nuggets of wisdom to impart, but first...let me just bare my soul a little bit.<br />
<br />
I've mentioned in previous posts that I edit for fun, that I'm a voracious reader. Beyond that, I think it's obvious I write. I've shared my struggles for all of you to laugh at, commiserate with, and otherwise learn from.<br />
<br />
So what has my panties in a wad?<br />
<br />
In short, ignorance.<br />
<br />
Bear with me a moment before you write me off as a complete bitch. This needs to be said, even if the reality check isn't pretty.<br />
<br />
Between working on my own projects, I try to help fellow writers by doing beta and various levels of editing on their work. It's nothing to write home about; I enjoy it. That being said, every once in a while, I come across someone that doesn't know the first thing about what they're doing.<br />
<br />
Let me break this down in quick and easy steps:<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li>Write book.</li>
<li>Clean up book to the best of your ability.</li>
<li>Hand off to alpha readers.</li>
<li>Fix mistakes.</li>
<li>Hand off to developmental editor.</li>
<li>Fix more mistakes.</li>
<li>Hand off to betas.</li>
<li>Fix more mistakes.</li>
<li>Hand off to editor.</li>
<li>Fix more mistakes.</li>
</ol>
Do you see where I'm going with this? There's a process inherent to writing a book and editing it. I mentioned in "<a href="http://theemptywaterdish.blogspot.com/2015/02/the-aftermath-editing-woes.html" target="_blank">The Aftermath</a>" that your book wouldn't be ready for publishing straight from the gate, but neither is it ready for a hard edit when you've barely knocked out a first draft.<br />
<br />
I've learned more about the editing process since "The Aftermath." Beta is apparently reserved for manuscripts closer to being publish ready. I've bowed to the whims of my trade group in regards to where beta is used; I can roll with the flow. So in this handy dandy outline of services (what they are, what they entail, fees, providers, etc), I thought it was obvious what I was getting into. Not the case.<br />
<br />
I am now working on what I was led to believe would be a beta. It is not a beta. This book is not ready for consumption in any way shape or form. It's barely ready for a developmental edit.<br />
<br />
And where does that leave me?<br />
<br />
If you follow my blog, I'm sure you noticed the post about giving and receiving <a href="http://theemptywaterdish.blogspot.com/2015/10/criticism-taking-it-like-champ.html" target="_blank">criticism</a>. But faced with something like this, I feel trapped by my own frustration. Do I break my own rules, pull all the stops, go Ahau-Kin on this writer's heart?<br />
<br />
NO! Abso-fucking-lutely NOT. Still, there's only so many ways you can nicely frame a statement about plot holes; cliches; poor character development; bad spelling, grammar, and punctuation; and any other number of rookie mistakes. <br /><br />My frustration lies in the truth. I feel like--even though I am struggling to put this in the nicest terms possible--this writer is either going to give up or hate me just because of the sheer amount of mistakes I'm pointing out.<br />
<br />
SO...that little nugget of wisdom I mentioned?<br />
<br />
Learn your craft. Everyone starts somewhere; I know that. And I don't want to impede that process. But if this is your first attempt, rather than seeking out someone like me, DO YOURSELVES A FAVOR: reflect.<br />
<br />
Have you written your book to the best of your ability? If not, don't seek out an editor. Keep honing. Keep writing. Keep learning.<br />
<br />
I feel like the bad guy when you come to me full of hopes and dreams, and I'm sitting over here picking everything apart, dreading the day I hand this back to you. It makes ME feel like shit because I'm the one that has to pop that bubble. I don't want to be that person. I despise being that person.<br />
<br />
I'm not heartless. I want to help. I want you to succeed. But for every five writers I do this for, maybe one takes the critique as a learning experience. The rest trash me or give up on writing altogether. Don't make me be that guy. PLEASE.K. M. Vanderbilthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05131697804902521538noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6726904020412004118.post-78036778348245384752016-01-05T14:22:00.003-08:002016-01-05T14:22:50.512-08:00Blurb Writing: A Hell Unlike Any Other<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Before we begin, let me just say...I'm ashamed. Seriously. Just want to bury the evidence of my many failed attempts at blurb writing and crawl into a dark hole of shame.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.triciaskinner.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/sob.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.triciaskinner.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/sob.gif" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /><br />Does that set the tone for this blog? If not, let me rephrase. Blurb writing is HARD. I have attempted and failed no less than 30 times to rewrite this sumbitch into a semblance of coherence, and I fail so hard this might as well be me:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://wanna-joke.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/fail-gif1.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://wanna-joke.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/fail-gif1.gif" height="266" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
I tried to dip my toes and was submerged. Floundering. Flailing. Fucked.<br />
<br />
I've read no less than a dozen how-to blogs on blurbing, but all to no avail. Trying to sum up the plot of your story in less than 300 words is no easy feat. But then you still have to hook a reader, keep it vague without being too vague. And so on, and so forth, and yeah... Did I mention this is what it feels like to write a blurb?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/2zE1LbC4Fvs/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/2zE1LbC4Fvs?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
So what'd I do? I set up some one-on-one time with a blurb coach. This woman is awesome. She ran me through the dos and don'ts, attempted to teach me the fine art that is boiling your book down into a catchy few sentences.<br /><br />But good gods, man! Did you know there are a ton of rules inherent in writing these little bastards? No? Don't feel bad. I didn't either. I have been corrected time and again on such fine points as these:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<ul>
<li>Don't use "you" unless the novel is in first person.</li>
<li>Negatives aren't as strong as positives.</li>
<li>Keep your sentences short and snappy.</li>
<li>Introduce as little information as possible to avoid confusion.</li>
<li>Say more in saying less (What? No, really.).</li>
<li>Use strong structures and action verbs.</li>
</ul>
And what have I learned in all of this coaching? If I could just post a meme of Tom Hiddleston with the tag, "Loki wants you to read this book," I would do it in a heartbeat. It doesn't really get easier with practice; there's just fewer things to correct. As proof, I present to you the document that contains my many blurb attempts.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7b3zz917iT3x5XsaoG1YQ29yqWYetu0x_VCnukSH83StQOQDxUBjOwxCmsSvYwdc3iobIxdN4cCC_B8Bsm1ibaCqpEsNynenikvFpIsUmoQzjV0ubezEbvog6nUpjXGEnsBWETE9V503P/s1600/BLURB+FAILING.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7b3zz917iT3x5XsaoG1YQ29yqWYetu0x_VCnukSH83StQOQDxUBjOwxCmsSvYwdc3iobIxdN4cCC_B8Bsm1ibaCqpEsNynenikvFpIsUmoQzjV0ubezEbvog6nUpjXGEnsBWETE9V503P/s320/BLURB+FAILING.jpg" width="306" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Ignore the blur. I'm saving you an eye sore. Instead, TAKE NOTE: Seven pages. SEVEN FARKING PAGES. Over 3000 words racked up in an attempt to write a blurb. And I'm not done yet.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Is this normal? Oh wow, I sincerely hope not. Considering what my friends have said over the course of the last two months, I'm forced to believe it IS, however. I have come to them time and again, hoping surely THIS attempt is THE one. It's better than the others, and I can finally say I'm FINISHED, that I have a real blurb. Nope. Nopenopenope. Damn it all, NOPE! And my friends just commiserate and tell me they don't look forward to doing this for themselves.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
That being the case, I just want to assure those of you that are ready to impale your own eyes with a rusty fork...<br /><br />It will be okay, guys. It's taken me two months to get anywhere near a polished, workable attempt. It has been trying, but I know it will be worth it in the end. Just...right now I feel like epic fail run through a meat grinder.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
So what can I recommend for you? </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<ul>
<li>Buff up your patience. You need to level to at least 1000 before attempting this.</li>
<li>Find someone who knows how blurbs work to give you some coaching.</li>
<li>Be prepared to get discouraged. It's bound to happen, but you have to get back up and truck the fuck on. That blurb won't write itself.</li>
<li>Look at your shite attempts as lessons learned. You'll laugh at them someday...after you stop with the gross sobbing.</li>
<li>Remember what all of this is for. One day, that blurb is going to be on the back of YOUR book. </li>
</ul>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
You're amazing for even getting this far. Don't forget it. NOW WRITE THAT DAMN BLURB AND SHOW IT WHO'S BOSS!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://45.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkksej98DP1qfe59do1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="224" src="https://45.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkksej98DP1qfe59do1_500.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<br /><br />K. M. Vanderbilthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05131697804902521538noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6726904020412004118.post-26412644828554986072015-10-25T12:26:00.002-07:002015-12-23T17:58:24.906-08:00Criticism: Taking It Like a ChampSo I feel like this is really relevant to those writers who take their craft seriously. Not all of us have tons of money to pump into vanity editors, much less the backing of big publishers. For the humble artist on a budget, the alternative is reaching out to friends, family, and other writers to find the support you need when it comes to the editing process.<br />
<br />
That being said, it's not always a PRETTY process. Let's be honest; it sucks the majority of the time. That whole saying, "Everybody's a critic," doesn't necessarily mean everyone is a GOOD critic. Friends and family aren't always going to be completely honest for fear of hurting your feelings, and other writers might not have the background in editing to be helpful, much less the tact to convey their point without ripping your beating heart out and running it through a paper shredder.<br />
<br />
So, in this hit and miss arena, what are your choices in responding to BAD criticism? Basically, you have two:<br />
<br />
1. Take it like a champ.<br />
2. Lash out.<br />
<br />
Arguably, you could include the third option--break down--but I believe pieces of that rest on either end of the dual spectrum above.<br />
<br />
Bad criticism can be detrimental to your process, but let me be clear: if you EVER want to garner a following, it is your job as a professional to respond professionally. If someone took the time to read your manuscript and give you ANY feedback, you are obligated to at least acknowledge that effort with a 'thank you' at the bare minimum. Lashing out does nothing but alienate your potential audience.<br />
<br />
Moving on from this, let me also make the point that there is a difference between bad criticism, fair criticism, and someone being a complete asshole.<br />
<br />
<b><u>Examples</u></b>:<br />
<br />
<u>Bad Criticism</u>: I didn't like this character.<br />
<br />
The hallmark of bad criticism is making a (possibly) valid point, but not explaining why. I actually had this response from two betas recently. It did make me rethink a lot of things concerning the character in question, but how much easier would things have been if they'd said WHY that character was so unlikable?<br />
<br />
<u>Fair Criticism</u>: I didn't care for this character because in scene x they made decision a, when it would seem to be more in character for them to make decision b.<br />
<br />
THIS is fair and well thought out criticism. The critique mentions which character, which scene, and what decision specifically seemed to throw them out of the reading. It addresses an issue they had with the reading in a very direct and clear manner, allowing you to take that comment and think about your writing. Is it really an IN character decision but maybe you didn't make that clear enough? Or is this reviewer correct and you've missed something in your plot/character development that can be fixed by applying decision b? A good critique should make you examine your own writing with a critical eye without tearing you down as a person.<br />
<br />
<u>Being an Asshole</u>: All of the characters are shit. You're a hack writer and you'll only ever write shit.<br />
<br />
Assholes attack the writer rather than explaining what they didn't like about the work. Critiques mean taking the time to actually demonstrate that one has read the manuscript and thoroughly considered all aspects of the writing by explaining the perceived downfalls in a well thought out and concise manner. The above is an example of nothing more than a juvenile that isn't worth your time.<br />
<br />
Bear this in mind, taking criticism like a champ does not mean you have to be unctuous, much less that you have to agree with everything said. Even if the criticism isn't necessarily CORRECT, if the reviewer pointed out something that was an issue for them, take a minute to examine it. Sometimes, your intent may not be clear, or maybe the reader missed something entirely. A bit of polite conversation can go a long way, however. Reaching out to ask for clarification isn't rude, and being polite goes a long way in ensuring further relations with a possible beta reader.<br />
<br />
In the case that you come across someone that is rude in their delivery and/or a complete asshole, be careful of what you say. If you say anything, still thank them. You might even ask them to expand their thoughts so you have an idea of where to apply edits. Do NOT attack them back. Keyboard warriors are a dime a dozen, and you should not sink to that level. I guarantee you, anything that makes you look bad will circulate quickly.<br />
<br />
Maintain your professionalism even as an amateur. Take all criticism in stride. Don't feed the trolls.<br />
<br />
Write on, my friends.K. M. Vanderbilthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05131697804902521538noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6726904020412004118.post-90526780715254782142015-08-25T10:18:00.003-07:002015-12-06T15:49:08.989-08:00Prologues: MaybePrologues. Indeed. Those crazy little monsters have found themselves the topic of much debate in recent years. I fail to see the merit of the debate, to be honest.<br />
<br />
Prologues are, by definition, <a href="https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&rlz=1C1FERN_enUS571US592&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=prologue%20definition" target="_blank">"a separate introductory section of a literary or musical work" or "an event or action that leads to another event or situation."</a> It seems simple enough on the surface. So why all the fuss?<br />
<br />
I'll tell you why:<br />
<ol>
<li>People are lazy.</li>
<li>Authors don't use them correctly.</li>
<li>Over-generalizations are products of ignorance.</li>
</ol>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So, people are lazy. If they are not entertained from the opening page of your story, they will often not read further. Prologues have a bad reputation for being dry info dumps--true enough--but gods forbid you actually force your readers to think. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Tying into this idea, when authors do not properly use a prologue, readers become bored and either skip them or discard the work altogether. When I say "do not properly use," I am referring to the dry info dumps that would have better served in an appendix...or being worked into the body of the book itself. Sometimes, I understand that books can just become too much of a behemoth for everything to properly find its place in the exposition. That still doesn't warrant a prologue. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
FURTHER tying into this laziness, because several authors have either misused prologues or failed to hook their reader, many readers now over-generalize to state that prologues are unnecessary. This is a product of pure ignorance. This is like saying all blonds are stupid, all black men are criminals, or all white girls like Starbucks. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
POPPYCOCK, I SAY! Absolute and utter poppycock. Oh, if only you could see my soul-withering stare through the pixelated land of cyberspace. You would shrink in upon yourself and beg for mercy. ...but I'll spare you that painful death. THIS TIME.<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
At any rate, there you have it. I'm settling myself firmly in the PRO prologue camp, and I have a very good reason for doing so. Prologues are, from a literary standpoint, sometimes necessary.<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
Now I'm going to outline a handy dandy guide for the proper use of prologues. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
We begin.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>Q:</b> Does your opening chapter begin with an event not directly tied to the rest of the book, but it is IMPORTANT to the book as a whole?</div>
<div>
<b>A:</b> If yes, you might need a prologue.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>Q:</b> Does your opening chapter begin a significant amount of time before the rest of the book?</div>
<div>
<b>A:</b> If yes, you might need a prologue.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>Q:</b> Does your opening chapter feature characters or POVs that will not be featured within the rest of the book (or they might only be featured indirectly thereafter)?</div>
<div>
<b>A:</b> If yes, you might need a prologue.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>Q:</b> Does your opening chapter merely take an event from later in the book to use as a hook?</div>
<div>
<b>A:</b> If yes, you do NOT need a prologue. Write a real hook, you lazy turd!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>Q:</b> Does your opening chapter introduce political parties, exorbitant amounts of backstory, lineages, or other bits of info that become dry and hard to understand out of context?</div>
<div>
<b>A:</b> If yes, you do NOT need a prologue. For the love of cheese, you're giving all authors a bad name! Work that ish into the body of your story or add an appendix.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Now, I expect you to use your heads and decide what works best for your story. Be judicious with your choice, you masterful wordsmith! Now seriously...get writing. </div>
K. M. Vanderbilthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05131697804902521538noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6726904020412004118.post-37231805737455596722015-07-14T10:28:00.002-07:002015-07-14T10:31:51.897-07:00Mind over Mayo Jar: Living in the Digital AgeSo let me just preface this by saying I've already bought my ticket for the Shame Train. With that out of the way, we begin...<br />
<br />
Some of you know me on a more personal level. More of you don't. For those that don't, let me tell you a bit about myself as a PERSON. That's right: you now get an unadulterated peek inside of the inner workings of my mind--not as a writer, but as a real-life, (sometimes) thinking human.<br />
<br />
I'm gross. There, I said it. I. Am. Gross. I enjoy toilet humor. Farts make me laugh like an obnoxious, braying ass. I'm not afraid to admit I poop. It's a little known fact, but everybody poops, even women. More little known facts about women: we don't glow; we sweat. We also get indigestion, bad breath, and are slightly superhuman in that we bleed like stuck pigs for days on end without dying. These are all common things...and I laugh at them.<br />
<br />
That being said, there is an appropriate time and place for my atypical sense of humor. I sometimes forget that. Today, I most certainly did.<br />
<br />
So you know that invisible line that separates a writer from an author? Yeah, it's not big. It's a simple matter of leaping from "I write stuff" to "I publish the stuff I write." I haven't crossed that line yet, but I am working on it. I still hold in reverence every writer that has moved to the other side and can proudly point to a link or a hard-copy of their work. But, in all honesty, that reverence has pretty much become a self-imposed illusion now.<br />
<br />
In the digital age, the advent of social media has pretty much bulldozed all aspects of privacy and even a lot of common sense. Ten years ago, Facebook hadn't blown up yet, and people weren't Tweeting their every thought or Instagram-ing pics of their every meal. On social media, people willingly spill their darkest secrets and interact with anyone that will reply. That being the case, there isn't much separating the lowly dabblers from the masters of the craft.<br />
<br />
I ran into this issue today on Twitter. I follow Lauren DeStefano, author of <i>The Chemical Garden</i> series. I find a lot of her tweets hilarious; today's was no exception. Below is a screenshot of the conversation:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOPo0C21Ug7hfotg9RsFOawJK_GzlxLmjdAVHsfwWwAP0q3ants-53oKUq-z2gYbrCtBcU2lF7mOWz-uKb_f_yijR10hzXGgFUBq4LosqFwWxBQCBpd7EwTulWtlDwLmc_63ie_TF_bVSV/s1600/Untitled.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOPo0C21Ug7hfotg9RsFOawJK_GzlxLmjdAVHsfwWwAP0q3ants-53oKUq-z2gYbrCtBcU2lF7mOWz-uKb_f_yijR10hzXGgFUBq4LosqFwWxBQCBpd7EwTulWtlDwLmc_63ie_TF_bVSV/s320/Untitled.png" width="273" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Do you feel my shame? FEEL IT! Burn inside like I do.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
This woman does not know me. At all. And I shared my gross humor on a completely inappropriate platform. The sad thing is...I could have stopped at the first one and just laughed at her response before going about my business. But no, not me. I couldn't quit until I needed to cram BOTH feet into my mouth, sit on my hands, and disappear into a crack. Apparently, my common sense went on vacation for the day and didn't notify the rest of the brain.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
That being said, I am dubbing this incident #MindOverMayoJar. I am making it even MORE public so the rest of you can learn from my mistake. I'm sure I'll laugh about this in the future, but for now it's just a solid pit in my stomach that keeps jabbing up into my Regret Factory to make me cringe every five minutes or so. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
From now on, when I catch myself or others in some stupid shenanigan of epic proportions, I will make it known. Even in the digital age, we can still have some common decency and respect.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
...Above all, I'm still kind of surprised she replied to me. Social media, man. There is no spoon. </div>
<br />K. M. Vanderbilthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05131697804902521538noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6726904020412004118.post-88294384443081853022015-07-01T12:12:00.000-07:002015-08-25T16:48:18.449-07:00The Pitfalls of Poorly Choreographed Plot Devices: Rape as a Trope<b>***<span style="color: red;"><u>TRIGGER</u> <u>WARNING</u></span>***<br /><br />This post discusses rape in fiction and contains spoilers for books and movies.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
_________________________________________________________________<br />
<br />
<br />
Now that we have that out of the way...<br />
<br />
I'm a writer, so I read a lot. Might be books, might be articles, might just be posts in the myriad writing groups I haunt. As of late, I've seen a deluge of posts and articles dealing with rape in fiction. I blame GoT's recent episode. This is an emotionally charged debate, one that sees a lot of opinions across the spectrum.<br />
<br />
Let me preface this a bit: I AM A RAPE SURVIVOR. Stop. Take a minute to let that sink in. No, I don't want your pity. I want you to look at this as objectively as possible--as I will attempt to do--and walk away with some real perspective.<br />
<br />
So, what is this great evil I speak of? Without getting too philosophical on this, I am going to define "rape" as any unsolicited or blatantly forced sexual contact. Simple enough. By this definition, a "rape trope" is any depiction of rape utilized as a plot device in fiction, to the point of becoming cliche or overdone. If you go to Google and type in "rape trope," you will see a list of <a href="http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SexualHarassmentAndRapeTropes?from=Main.RapeTropes" target="_blank">types of rape and harassment</a> seen in popular media. This post will deal with those tropes specifically in writing.<br />
<br />
I mentioned I read a lot, right? Yeah, I read a LOT. This year alone, I've read more books than I can count. The spectrum is wide, ranging from nonfiction (accounts of pirates on the American coast to growing and harvesting your own herb garden) to dark fantasy (ASOIAF). There might have been a couple of romances in there, but I confirm nothing. Rather, I point you toward my fiction choices...and the elements of rape within.<br />
<br />
Honestly, I don't find rape to be as pervasive as some have suggested, nor will I condemn it as <a href="http://www.wired.com/2015/06/rape-scenes/" target="_blank">lazy writing</a> as some articles have. The fact of the matter is...rape happens; I'm living proof of that. It is a FACT--ugly and disgusting, albeit--of the world around us, and it has been for centuries (likely since the dawn of sentient creatures). That being the case, it cannot be ignored, glossed, glorified, or otherwise forgotten. I don't find rape in fiction to be lazy in and of itself--I stress the "in and of itself." I find how the rape is handled says a lot about the writer and the story.<br />
<br />
There it is. The can of worms is officially opened. I DO NOT OPENLY CONDEMN RAPE SCENES. This topic of discussion has led to dismissive behavior when it comes to my own experience. Why? WHY? I can see the validity of this topic in fiction, and suddenly it matters what I was wearing when I was assaulted? No, just no.<br />
<br />
This is where my condescension starts to bleed through, and you'll have to forgive me. Rape in fiction does not demean what happened to me, no more than it strips the validity of what happened to other rape survivors. It empowers us. Writers are willing to be open and discuss this ugly aspect of human nature when a startling amount of victims--myself included--were afraid to speak up. In my mind, rape in fiction is the same as ANY type of violence--war, kicking puppies, serial killings, bar brawls, etc. THEY ARE ALL THE SAME.<br />
<br />
But this is where the trope part comes in. The word "trope" carries a heavily negative connotation all by its lonesome. When a commonly seen literary device (rape) garners a reputation for being a trope, it becomes looked down on and dismissed without really looking past the trope itself.<br />
<br />
And that's where this year's reading comes in. I read two series where rape tropes are featured--GRRM's <i>A Song of Ice and Fire</i> and Stieg Larsson's <i>The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo</i> series. I will also touch on a manuscript I beta'd/edited because it comes up there, too.<br />
<br />
So...let's get the big one out of the way: <i>ASOIAF</i>.<br />
<br />
Rape and violence are so common in GRRM's writing that you rarely read a page without running into another instance of it. This isn't a bad thing. The series is written to depict a horribly bloody bit of history in the fictional realm that Martin has created, and let's not forget that it's set in a male-dominated society. It forces the reader to look at things from the objective perspective--seeing instances from more than one character's point of view. The good, the bad, and the ugly are smeared into one gray blur, where no real lines exist anymore.<br />
<br />
Let me be blunt. THIS IS REALITY, ladies and gentleman. Think of any argument you've ever witnessed from the third perspective (i.e. not directly involved). You know the saying: There are always three sides to a story--his, hers, and the truth. You can see valid points from both sides of the equation when you're put into that situation, can you not? Don't lie; you know I'm right.<br />
<br />
In GRRM's world, you're forced to be that objective third party. YOU are the truth. You see all elements as they take shape, and you know how all the puzzle pieces fit together. Character motivations may not click with your world view, but--damn!--can you ever see what drives these people. What really speaks to me about GRRM's writing style, however, is that none of the violent elements are glorified. It's raw, and ugly, and real.<br />
<br />
So let's focus down on what's pertinent here--the rape scenes. One particular instance comes to mind, and this will stand as my reasoning on GRRM's handling of the trope as a whole.<br />
<br />
In a twist of events, Ramsay Bolton is tricked into marrying Jeyne Poole, who is masquerading as Arya Stark. The alliance is set to ally King's Landing with the Boltons, who control the north. Through Theon's eyes, we have the description of the violent scenes, including where Reek is forced to--ew, I cringe just writing this--make the bride ready with his mouth. Later, Theon also describes the bruises and bite marks on Jeyne's body. Ramsay assaults her repeatedly throughout their marriage before Jeyne is whisked away by Theon and the Wildling rescue party.<br />
<br />
Let's consider this. What purpose do these scenes serve? <br />
<br />
1.) It lets the reader know you are not in Kansas anymore. The innocent will be maimed in accordance with the world GRRM has set up. <br />
2.) It keeps with Ramsay's characterization up to this point.<br />
3.) It shows character growth of Theon/Reek, leading to the moment when he finally grows a pair (har har) and defies Ramsay.<br />
<br />
Some people have suggested that this scene is minimized simply BECAUSE it serves as a motivator for Theon/Reek. In some ways, I can see the validity of this. Showing how the rape of a female affects/motivates a male has become a trope all on its own. As a survivor, would I want my story written from a man's perspective? HELL NO! HOWEVER--and this is a big however--Martin is writing a fictional book, not reality.<br />
<br />
How Jeyne is affected and deals with the rape are ugly and clear--distraught, crying, begging for help, etc. The physical and emotional distress are evident no matter which character's eyes we get the story from. Does seeing it from Theon's perspective make it any less horrifying?<br />
<br />
The answer is no. Furthermore, Jeyne's consequences are known to us. She can't just rise up and kill Ramsay, hundreds of guards, and escape through miles of snow without help. She has no arms training, no help, and no options. Seeing these things from her point of view would only slow the story down (yes, this IS a key factor here). That is why we have the scene from Theon's point of view.<br />
<br />
As Reek, Theon has been stripped of everything that meant anything to him (down to his man bits and identity). In a sense, the violence visited upon him was just as much a rape as what was done to Jeyne; yes, I went there. Reek has been reduced to a subhuman extension of Ramsay's will. The fact that he joins with the Wildings and rescues Jeyne from her horrible situation is a triumphant moment. The man who is no longer a man, the man who is so shattered he can barely WALK, finds his spine and becomes a hero for ONCE in his life. Readers love to hate Theon, but that moment was so gratifying on so many levels.<br />
<br />
I firmly believe Martin considered the angles on this story, and the eventual rescue and escape mean more from Theon's point of view. It was prudent to choose a character whose growth is pertinent. Besides, the story isn't finished yet, guys. We may see more of Jeyne in the future books, and then you really WILL have her perspective on what happened. Call me biased, I'd rather not read it from her perspective. The aftermath of the assault is more telling than the actual assault, which brings me to Stieg Larsson's series.<br />
<br />
<i>The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo</i> is a trilogy that deals largely with a character named Lisbeth Salander. She is a ward of the state in Sweden, and has been fed through the system in a national cover-up, which bounced her from loony bin, to foster home, to guardian, and so on.<br />
<br />
When her guardian has a stroke and almost dies, Salander is placed under the care of Nils Bjurman, who physically assaults her on two occasions. The first time, he forces her to give him oral sex in exchange for money (her money, mind you; he controls all of her assets). Salander has few options open to her as she is deemed mentally incompetent, and knows Bjurman will only spin the story to his benefit should she go to the police. She places a hidden camera in her bag and intends to get undeniable proof. Bjurman rapes her violently, nearly smothers her with a pillow, and then finally lets her go.<br />
<br />
These scenes are written from Salander's point of view, and they made me physically ill. Where I was highly uncomfortable reading about the assault on Jeyne, this piece of writing made me ILL. I had to put the first book aside for a long while before I came back to it. It was worth it. Seeing how Salander got her revenge, how the rape affected and motivated her--these all fed into her character growth.<br />
<br />
This is another instance of how rape trope is used in an effective manner, though much differently than <i>ASOIAF</i>. Both writers were able to fully capture the horror of the moment, but they did so to different ends. Lisbeth needed a motivator to get out from under Bjurman's control; Theon needed a motivator to get away from Ramsay. Both rapes serve a purpose as written without glorifying the actual rape.<br />
<br />
Aaaand now we come to rape tropes that don't do much to further the story, which is where the title of this article suddenly becomes pertinent. I write a lot, I read a lot, and I also edit for fun. The idea of editing for fun probably sounds like a contradiction in terms, but trust me; I find it relaxing.<br />
<br />
Over the years, I've come across a lot of manuscripts and short stories from aspiring writers that are looking for an unbiased opinion on their work. I've edited everything--poetry, short stories, novellas, and novels. A while ago, I was handed a manuscript by someone I didn't know well, but I took a chance on it, figuring I could offer some insights.<br />
<br />
I didn't ask for particulars beyond word count and genre since the rise of the almighty trigger warning. Naturally, I assumed the writer would disclose any questionable material beforehand. So I barreled into this manuscript and read it all in one sitting, at which time I came across a group of four chapters in the middle of the book, all of which featured rape. Yes, you read that right. Four chapters, FOUR different rapes.<br />
<br />
For a while, I just kind of sat there, stunned. I had to take a moment to collect my thoughts before I could really articulate anything beyond complete disgust. I put the manuscript aside for an hour, chain smoked three cigarettes, and then made myself finish the book. <br />
<br />
After reading it, I saw how each violation tied into the overall plot, even if some of them were a stretch. The first rape serves as a catalyst to set the whole series of rapes in motion, as well as raising a pertinent dialogue about this fictional world's power struggles with slavery. The second rape serves as a plot device that motivates another character's mental break. The third rape--which is aborted halfway through--serves to open one character's eyes on his mistreatment of a slave. And the final rape--a gang rape of man on man violence--serves to show the same character how it feels to not have power.<br />
<br />
Each of these serves a purpose, and I understand why the writer set up the chain of events this way. But the handling of the material was done very poorly. This free-for-all made each event lose its impact and relevance. So much in one sitting is overkill, and I told the author as much in no uncertain terms. If there is no better way to motivate the characters, this story has a huge pitfall, and becomes nothing more than the worst aspects of a trope. <br />
<br />
It seemed to glorify rape culture, and the events were NEVER again addressed by the victims, much less touched on by those closest to them. In a story that is written in a loosely omniscient style, why was the aftermath of the violation not shown in more than a briefly PHYSICAL aspect? None of the victims seemed bothered at ALL after the moment was past. This horrified me.<br />
<br />
It took me years to overcome what happened to me. It stained every moment of my life--relationships, being alone with men, trying to have fun in an environment where people were drinking, and TRUST. Most of all, trust. As a survivor, I never trusted another man with my well-being again, not even those that were supposed to be closest to me. But none of these aspects were addressed in the manuscript.<br />
<br />
That was when it occurred to me...this person has never been raped, much less spoken to a rape survivor. There is no disconnect between the event and just moving forward with your life as if nothing happened. Even Lisbeth Salander had mental repercussions despite her cold attitude about the assault. Jeyne Poole is also mentally and physically altered by the attacks, though we see that change via Theon's eyes. But I saw none of this in the manuscript. Instead, it was as if the event happened, and then the characters forgot about it.<br />
<br />
Let me be clear: This is not an effectively written rape scene, and this is why rape tropes have a bad name. If you are going to use it, make DAMN sure you know what you're getting yourself into. The flippant manner in which the topic was handled made me angrier than the overuse of the trope.<br />
<br />
Rape scenes in literature--and rape culture in general--have a time and a place. There is a right way and a wrong way to handle them. Some rape tropes are a general act of laziness on the part of the writer. Sometimes they are genuinely unintentional. When used correctly, they can strengthen a story and the motivations of the characters, as well as speak to the societal issues of the fictional world. However, if you don't have the talent or ability to write them effectively, just step back and throw your hat in the ring. Better to find a different plot device that isn't nearly so hard to write.<br />
<br />
TL;DR: Rape is not something to be easily dismissed. It is pervasive in our culture and denotes an aspect of physical dominance and control. Victims of rape are affected for years after the fact, and intimacy--not just physical, but emotional--is hard to accept. When you can't trust your partner, suddenly it makes it very hard to even be in a relationship. Rape. Stains. EVERYTHING. If you cannot write it effectively, DON'T.K. M. Vanderbilthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05131697804902521538noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6726904020412004118.post-59791307529806429342015-03-04T11:38:00.002-08:002015-03-04T11:38:36.635-08:00Life in a Crap Factory: Writing with BabiesLet me preface this by saying kids are awesome. They fill a space in our hearts that nothing else can or will every occupy. Good parents often live and breathe for their children, sometimes at the expense of their own needs and desires. There it is--the somber note you were waiting for.<br />
<br />
Yes, children are a constant source of joy, but they are also time-consuming, perpetually needy, and often--VERY OFTEN--unintentionally destructive. Hey, we're parents. We can admit these things without fault. It comes with the territory. Admitting you're stressed beyond belief and need a 15 minute time out doesn't automatically revoke your super-parent cape. Rather it makes you human and keeps you sane. It also brings up other issues, though. You have kids, a life, a job, and other commitments. So where does writing come into the picture?<br />
<br />
I'm going to be blunt. At first, it doesn't. Being a parent--especially to your first child--is nerve-wracking. You are now responsible for a tiny human that needs to eat every two hours, rarely sleeps more than a few hours at a time, and produces some of the most horrendous bowel movements you've ever seen or smelled. Your entire schedule and life will be dumped in the deep end without floaties. It sucks, but you eventually work out that doggy paddle and keep your head above the water.<br />
<br />
Now, as to what works...? Well, no two kids are the same, so no two methods are the same. I'm going to attempt to outline the broad strokes here. This is how I brought writing back into my life:<br />
<br />
<b>Step One: Decide how important your writing is.</b><br />
<br />
This may sound like the most ignorant thing ever, but bear with me. Do you have bills and baby formula banking on your next book, or are you a dabbler with no clear goals and deadlines? These are opposite ends of the spectrum, of course. Most of us find ourselves somewhere in the middle. I fell under the "goal-driven, unpublished but working toward it with a deadline in mind" category. To come to that conclusion, I had to decide how important my writing was and move forward accordingly.<br />
<br />
<b>Step Two: Implement a Plan</b><br />
<br />
It's all well and good to have a goal. If you have no idea how to achieve it, however, you're not going to get much done. Look at how long it takes you to write a chapter. That average multiplied by the estimated number of chapters is roughly how long it's going to take to write your book--if you apply yourself diligently, of course. Is your goal feasible with a baby? If not, adjust accordingly. The push is great, but you can't be unrealistic. Setting yourself up for failure is not a good way to get back into the swing of things.<br />
<br />
<b>Step Three: Make Time to Write</b><br />
<br />
I know. But how? If you're feeding your baby formula, make your bottles ahead of time. Use every nap and quiet moment to your advantage. Take a notebook into the floor during tummy time. Once they hit crawling and toddling stages, you're screwed. All I can say is this: Never waste nap time (you can sleep when you're dead); baby-proof your house before they can crawl (it will save you countless hours of frustration with the up and down "no-don't-touch-that" sessions); and, above all, use your time wisely. If you want to write, don't waste all of your free time on Facebook or other social media. Block out a small portion of your day where you allow yourself to cruise the mindlessness of your news feed. The rest of your time should be dedicated to writing between bottles, dirty diapers, and tantrums.<br />
<br />
---<br />
<br />
So, hopefully these steps help you. If not, as I said, all kids are different. Work toward what you want as much as your child allows.<br />
<br />
What are some tips and tricks that have worked for you? <br />
<br />
<br />K. M. Vanderbilthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05131697804902521538noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6726904020412004118.post-46905825625384248792015-02-16T13:31:00.001-08:002015-02-17T16:58:23.507-08:00The Aftermath: Editing WoesWe're writers. We write. This is the nature of our particular creative endeavor. You get an idea, and you run with it. You write like a fiend for months on end. Now you have a complete manuscript staring at you. There's no denying the high that is a finished novel. It's something I'm experiencing right now. The feeling is heady, almost frightening in its intensity. The result of years of hard work--a 50,000+ word monument to your greatness. All of those sleepless nights, days fueled by coffee overdoses, the fanatic four-hour marathon research sessions (that may or may not end in the black hole of YouTube), and months of hard work have paid off...or have they?<br />
<br />
If you've managed to finish a novel, that's amazing. I applaud you. But that's a single battle won, and the war is only just begun. You have so much work still ahead of you. It begins with editing.<br />
<br />
I can hear you groaning across the void of cyber space. Let me bust your bubble, though. You are no Mozart, my friend. Editing is a must, and your readers will thank you for it. One of the worst mistakes a burgeoning writer can make is to skip this process. At best, you will be laughed at. At worst, you'll get some of the cruelest critiques of your life, not to mention most readers will probably put the book down without finishing it. Remember, your audience makes or breaks you, especially in the age of technology. All of those bad reviews impact your reputation as a writer. Do it correctly the first time, set the bar high for your work, and build a following. Infinitely more preferable than trying to live down the first bout of inflammatory hate messages, right? Right.<br />
<br />
So, you've completed a manuscript. Yes, that is an accomplishment. No, your book is not ready for public consumption. And, sure, editing can be overwhelming when you first sit down to look at the colossus that is your novel...but don't let that feeling consume you. Take baby steps. Your manuscript is a caterpillar right now. The goal is to transform it into a butterfly. Nobody's process is the same, of course. But you have to start somewhere to find what works best for you.<br />
<br />
This is what works for me:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u>PERCOLATE</u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I began my writing process somewhere in the deep wilds of New Zealand during a six-month study abroad program. The year 2008 began my quest for a fantasy series of epic proportions. I began writing in 2012, and somehow stumbled on a finished novel in 2015. It was a surprise, and it left me flailing for the space of about two days. The big question was: Where do I go from here?<br />
<br />
Let it sit.<br />
<br />
Let me be clear. You want a fresh perspective when you come back to this hulk, so don't just close it for a day and come back. Leave it alone for a week, a month, whatever. Do something else for a while. Read a book. Read several books. Write something else. Join a yoga group. Center your chi. Take up therapeutic crocheting. My point is, you need to find something <i>other</i> than your novel to occupy your time for a while. Then, when you feel fresh, crack it open again.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u>CURSORY INSPECTION</u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
This is probably the least fun piece of the work ahead of you. You're forging ahead into rediscovered territory, and you have to do so with a very active mind. This means you can't zone out and skim. Treat your book like the ugly red-headed step-child that it is. Look for flaws, and beat your novel into submission one correction at a time. Awful metaphor, but you know what I mean.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Spelling and grammar are always my first step--eliminate the superfluous adverbs, nail down a spelling for that character's title, watch out for misused homonyms, and keep an eye out for the rogue misspelling or run-on.<br />
<br />
Next, I look at continuity and do fact checking. The character that started with green eyes in chapter one should end the book with the same color eyes (short of an eye transplant or a fantasy/science theme where they are supposed to change, of course). The group that walks from Point A on the northwestern edge of the map to point Z on a southeastern edge and then grabs a boat to an island several hundreds of miles away can't just show up at their destination in two days (or even a week; do your homework). You get the idea.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Finally, I check for info dumps. Yeah, you want the reader to have your character's critical back story, which makes this plot point epic, but you have to weave it into the narrative in a way that doesn't detract from the story. So...nix the six paragraph explanation of how the character got that totally bitchin' scar on his rippling man boobs. Instead, drop hints here and there, maybe give a one paragraph explanation that doesn't reveal every detail, and then at the most opportune moment--BAM! You drop the significance of the scar and how it relates to the moment at hand.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u>BETA READERS</u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Yes, the time has come for you to show your novel to other people. But wait! I've barely done any work on it. Are you sure it's time for THIS? What if they hate it? GOOD. The more they can tell you about what they did and didn't like the better. Having a different perspective, fresh eyes, and someone that's not <i>you w</i>ill do wonders in helping you edit. You can go solo and edit your project until your fingers bleed. You will still miss things. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
As writers, we get so caught up in world building, character bios, and poignant scenes that sometimes we forget the necessary details. A good beta reader will give you honest advice, and will also tell you if something doesn't make sense to them. From here, you start to get a good idea on what needs to go, what needs to stay, what needs to be added, and what needs to be rewritten. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
So...find a good beta reader or ten. Ask them pointed questions when you hand over your precious mind-child (i.e. what chapters you especially want looked at, which character relationships you're worried about, which plot points gave you issues, etc). Allow them to rip it to shreds, and graciously thank them afterwards. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u>HARD EDIT</u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Now the real fun begins. You have your beta readers' comments in hand. There are a ton of issues they have pointed out, and one of those assholes even went as far as to say your main character is a weak caricature of [insert preexisting canon character of your genre here]. You're over the initial crying, the follow-up disbelief, and the ensuing apoplectic fit. The time has come, at last, to do the hard edit. You will hack and slash and rewrite until you barely recognize your book anymore. And when you're finished, you'll find more betas, and repeat this process again.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u>LINE EDIT</u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
If you don't have a strong background in grammar, this is something you'll definitely want to invest in. A good line edit will tighten your prose to a virginal status. It can be costly, but worth your time and money. There are varying levels of skill, but just remember you will get what you pay for.<br />
<br />
Check out this helpful blog at <a href="http://www.curiouserediting.com/blog/2015/2/15/how-to-avoid-being-bamboozled-by-a-book-editor?utm_content=bufferd86b7&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer" target="_blank">Curiouser Editing</a> for a more detailed rundown of the dos and don'ts of finding an editor.</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u>FINAL EDIT</u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
You've gone through your beta readers as many times as necessary, found a line editor if needed, and edited the absolute crap out of your book. You now have the final mark-up in hand. You do one last run through. There may be one or two pesky little errors to clean up, but it's beautiful and polished. Your caterpillar is officially a butterfly and ready to present to the world at large. It's time to look for a publisher, you masterful word-smith! But that's a blog for another time.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Write on, friends. </div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
K. M. Vanderbilthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05131697804902521538noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6726904020412004118.post-22374082405247466552015-02-14T10:29:00.003-08:002015-02-14T10:41:30.792-08:00Magic Systems: More Than the WhatOkay, so you're writing fantasy. It has magic. You keep seeing these posts on magic systems. What's a magic system? Here's the quick and easy breakdown:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
A magic system outlines the limits of your characters' abilities.</blockquote>
In other words, your characters can't just use their magic without consequences, right? Otherwise, they would have earth-shattering abilities that could destroy the entire universe you've created with one swipe of their hand, one muttered word, etc. This isn't fun. What are the limits and consequences of their magic?<br />
<br />
You can go about this in several ways, of course. Some obvious techniques that are tried and true rest in the basics.<br />
<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Limit the number of spells your character has learned, or is able to use.</li>
</ul>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>Lucy learned the spells fireball, shielding, and sleep. She can't use an offensive attack (fireball or sleep) when she's using a defensive spell (shielding). </i></blockquote>
<ul>
<li>Limit the inherent magic abilities your character has (i.e. weak versus strong; how much magic they can use before being depleted).</li>
</ul>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>Lucy is a weak mage. While she has learned three of the most basic spells, other mages in her class have learned at least seven. Lucy can't use an offensive attack when she's using a defensive spell, but many of her classmates can.</i></blockquote>
<ul>
<li>Base your magic on the use of an enchanted item.</li>
</ul>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>Lucy learned the spells fireball, shielding, and sleep...but she can't use these spells without the use of her wand.</i></blockquote>
<ul>
<li>Create steep consequences for the use of magic.</li>
</ul>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>Lucy learned the spells fireball, shielding, and sleep...but every time she uses a spell she gets a new wart.</i></blockquote>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
There are so many more, and it all rests in your very capable hands. Use your imagination to make this interesting for readers. Find something that hasn't been used, or put twists on the basics to create something just different enough to be interesting.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Now, you've established the rules. Your magic-using character has their limits. That's it, right? Wrong. The real challenge lies with the <i>how </i>of your magic system. Your readers want to know more than <i>what</i> it is. They want to know how it works.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Again, you have so many options open to you. Some of the better known methods are listed below:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li>Magic given by someone else (see: gods, more powerful mages, etc)</li>
</ul>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>Lucy was a normal girl that prayed to be different. The goddess Athena blessed her with magic abilities.</i></blockquote>
<ul>
<li>Innate magic</li>
</ul>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>Lucy was born with the ability to magically conjure fireballs.</i></blockquote>
<ul>
<li>Learned magic</li>
</ul>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>Lucy had to study for years to learn the spells fireball, shielding, and sleep.</i></blockquote>
<ul>
<li>Magic given from enchanted object</li>
</ul>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>When Lucy found the silver ring in the attic, she soon discovered it allowed her to create fireballs.</i></blockquote>
<ul>
<li>Magic via certain words or phrases</li>
</ul>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>Lucy has to say "inferno" to cast her fireball spell.</i></blockquote>
</div>
<br />
Now, put your <i>how</i> and <i>what</i> together, and you have a magic system. This can be time consuming, frustrating, and equally as exciting when it all comes together. These basics should help you get started, but if you'd like to know more, hop over to this very informative blog on <a href="http://fantasy-faction.com/2011/magic-in-fantasy" target="_blank">Fantasy Faction</a>.<br />
<br />
Happy writing.<br />
<br />K. M. Vanderbilthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05131697804902521538noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6726904020412004118.post-69623229256700388442015-02-14T09:23:00.003-08:002015-02-14T09:23:56.507-08:00Welcome to the Fold: Quick Thoughts for WritersSo you identify as a writer. What qualifies you? Do you put pen to paper--or fingers to keys, as it were? Do you dream of new worlds and characters that transcend your reality? Do you blog? The defining quality of a writer is, simply, to write.<br />
<br />
On that note, I feel the need to point out that we all have slumps. You will have days, weeks, months, and sometimes years where you don't feel like writing a thing. Does that suddenly strip you of the right to label yourself a writer? Of course not! The important thing is to push past that funk and get back to what you love.<br />
<br />
You'll find blogs and articles all over the web on what makes a writer successful. You'll find hard and fast rules for any writer to adhere to. You'll read a dozen different views on what makes a writer, well, a <i>writer</i>.<br />
<i><br /></i>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>Oh, you can't claim to be a writer until you've published something. </i></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>No, e-books don't count. </i></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>Traditional publishing is the only route to claiming that badge. </i></blockquote>
<br />
Screw that. Make your own rules, set your own bar, and try every day to meet and exceed your expectations. What works for you won't necessarily work for everyone else. The goal here, again, is to write. Find what works best for you. And never--I repeat, NEVER--let anyone make you feel those goals and accomplishments aren't worthy.<br />
<br />
Keep writing, my friends.K. M. Vanderbilthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05131697804902521538noreply@blogger.com0