Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Life in a Crap Factory: Writing with Babies

Let me preface this by saying kids are awesome. They fill a space in our hearts that nothing else can or will every occupy. Good parents often live and breathe for their children, sometimes at the expense of their own needs and desires. There it is--the somber note you were waiting for.

Yes, children are a constant source of joy, but they are also time-consuming, perpetually needy, and often--VERY OFTEN--unintentionally destructive. Hey, we're parents. We can admit these things without fault. It comes with the territory. Admitting you're stressed beyond belief and need a 15 minute time out doesn't automatically revoke your super-parent cape. Rather it makes you human and keeps you sane. It also brings up other issues, though. You have kids, a life, a job, and other commitments. So where does writing come into the picture?

I'm going to be blunt. At first, it doesn't. Being a parent--especially to your first child--is nerve-wracking. You are now responsible for a tiny human that needs to eat every two hours, rarely sleeps more than a few hours at a time, and produces some of the most horrendous bowel movements you've ever seen or smelled. Your entire schedule and life will be dumped in the deep end without floaties. It sucks, but you eventually work out that doggy paddle and keep your head above the water.

Now, as to what works...? Well, no two kids are the same, so no two methods are the same. I'm going to attempt to outline the broad strokes here. This is how I brought writing back into my life:

Step One: Decide how important your writing is.

This may sound like the most ignorant thing ever, but bear with me. Do you have bills and baby formula banking on your next book, or are you a dabbler with no clear goals and deadlines? These are opposite ends of the spectrum, of course. Most of us find ourselves somewhere in the middle. I fell under the "goal-driven, unpublished but working toward it with a deadline in mind" category. To come to that conclusion, I had to decide how important my writing was and move forward accordingly.

Step Two: Implement a Plan

It's all well and good to have a goal. If you have no idea how to achieve it, however, you're not going to get much done. Look at how long it takes you to write a chapter. That average multiplied by the estimated number of chapters is roughly how long it's going to take to write your book--if you apply yourself diligently, of course. Is your goal feasible with a baby? If not, adjust accordingly. The push is great, but you can't be unrealistic. Setting yourself up for failure is not a good way to get back into the swing of things.

Step Three: Make Time to Write

I know. But how? If you're feeding your baby formula, make your bottles ahead of time. Use every nap and quiet moment to your advantage. Take a notebook into the floor during tummy time. Once they hit crawling and toddling stages, you're screwed. All I can say is this:  Never waste nap time (you can sleep when you're dead); baby-proof your house before they can crawl (it will save you countless hours of frustration with the up and down "no-don't-touch-that" sessions); and, above all, use your time wisely. If you want to write, don't waste all of your free time on Facebook or other social media. Block out a small portion of your day where you allow yourself to cruise the mindlessness of your news feed. The rest of your time should be dedicated to writing between bottles, dirty diapers, and tantrums.

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So, hopefully these steps help you. If not, as I said, all kids are different. Work toward what you want as much as your child allows.

What are some tips and tricks that have worked for you?